Riding Home

Another long ride home. Flipping through the radio
stations makes it clear that a subscription to
SIRIUS or something is a must.

And...just my luck the Ipod is dying.
"Shuffle Songs" on the phone is a lifesaver!

What is "Enter Galactic"? I'm not sure what this
guy was doing. I really need to get this album off
of my phone. It was cool at first but...NEXT!

YES! Haven't heard this one in a while...
"I put on for my city...on on for my city...I put
oooooooooooooon (taps throat to make the
auto-tune sound) I don't need no T-Pain." *Laughs*
That Jay-Z and his jabs. *shakes his head*

"Does that make me CRAAAAAAZZYYYY?
Does that make me CRAAAAAAZYYY? Does
that make me CRAAAAAAZYYYY? Probablyyyyyy..."

"Lights will guiiiiiiiide you home, and igniiiiiiite
your bones...and I will tryyyyyy, to fix yoooooou..."
Nothing wrong with a little ColdPlay to calm you.

I wonder if anyone has ever tried to "fix" me? Am I
seen as broken? Ok, I'm too tired for deep thoughts...
next song...

"Streets Disciple, my flows are trifle, I shoot slugs from
my brain just like a rifle..." Wow! And this is why Nas
is my favorite rapper!

Maybe I will download Pandora and really have a
random music experience.

"Hello. Hey babe! Aww, I miss you too! I guess I'll get
home before 6...we shall see. How was your day? Really?
*Laughs* How do they expect you to work with a gassy
cube buddy? *Laughs* Yeah, a movie would be nice tonight.
Just find something on Netflix, a comedy...maybe a stand-up
if possible. If all else fails, we can catch up on 30 Rock. Yeah,
I know...it is funny. Oh ok then...Aight."

Wow...must have talked for a while, didn't realize I was so
close so close to home. Uh oh...YES! My phone loves me!
"I looooove Mary! Blind Mary Mary babe!"

Gnarls Barkley, TAKE ME HOME!

I Want to Change...

I want to change...
Turn worlds upside down,
Shake them up,
Throw things around
Sounds become actions,
Words are now dreams,
Reality forced into what seems unreal,
Undo the undone;
Make hearts that are one,
Be more about opening doors than closure,
The ends are beginnings
When losing becomes winning,
The old sayings become facts
Forcing winds to sing,
Making the cool hot and the heat a style of dance,
Coughs are welcomed and sneezes are wishful thinking;
No sleeping without rest--
All tests would measure the things that really matter,
Shattering steel beams that hold back dreams;
I want to change...

The Abduction

Take me away,
No...no ransom is needed...
They would be glad to see that I'm gone;
I'm sure it would be a dream come true for some.

Take me away,
No...no note is needed...
As hard as I have been working;
Who couldn't figure out I was ready to go.


Take me away,
No...no equipment is needed...
I'm not going to fight the abduction;
A tap on the shoulder and simple nod will do.

Take me away,
No...no bag is needed...
Well maybe one for my video games;
This is my big chance for a fresh start...a new beginning.

2010 Reflection

2010 was a roller coaster ride of emotions for me;
lots of tests that challenged my Faith & Patience!
I'm glad I'm chose to endure and not give up. Bold are
reoccurring ideas I have encountered, whether
through others sharing or observations. Italicized
words are reoccurring thoughts I had this past year.

2 Timothy 4:7 says, "I have fought the good fight, I have
finished the race, I have kept the Faith." Now, the thing
I have focused on in my reflections of this past year is the
keeping Faith part. This year has been a constant transition,
for me and those close to me. Sure there have been times
that we have seemingly lacked Faith or given up Hope but,
for some reason we continued to move forward. And
because we did, we now find ourselves at the end of
a year of unexpected and remarkable highs and lows.

It doesn't matter that, at times, it seemed our lows outweighed
our highs. It doesn't matter that it seemed we questioned
things and didn't know if we believed anything positive could
come from a certain situation. It doesn't matter that we feel
we didn't achieve what we wanted to achieve, that we may
have failed at something--possibly a relationship, or that
we're not in the position we wanted to be in. What matters
is that we made it to this day. We made it to the end of
another year.

Everyone has the opportunity to reflect on what has happened
and then, determine how to proceed in the new year. If you're
like me, a lot of things were confirmed or brought to light this
past year. And because of this, there is clarity is certain things
so those paths are clear.

This was also a year of unexpected news and confusion
of the heart, being torn between what I thought was right,
what I felt was right and what I wanted to do. At times,
I had to sit still, and allow time to pass because I didn't have
any clear ideas on how to proceed. As frustrating as those times
were, I can see a lesson I was reluctant to learn and accept.
The one thing I will most certainly take into the new year is that
I am still growing as a man. By accepting this, I accept that
even though mistakes are more costly as I get older,
I may still make them, and I need to be okay with that.
Its okay because I believe I'm fighting a good fight,
and that I'm running a good race...at my own pace.

I hope my readers can say the same, if not now,
then hopefully some day soon. Let's seek out our goals
and go after our dreams, for
"a dream deferred is like a broken-winged bird." - Langston Hughes

In 2011, Be Strong, Be Safe, Be You!

I Don't Know Why

This is a poem written after seeing
an awkward hug between father and son.
I attempted to create a voice of the son who
immediately walks away, trying to rationalize
what just happened...

Seeing hands raises for consequences
morphed my motion sensors overtime;
then one day I cringed when my True
Love pounced towards me in glee...I'm not
super sensitive but that was her reason
for leaving...I don't know why, but
I blamed myself for that.

Reaching out with my heart, I released
the words "I Love You," only to receive a
retreating quick mumble of "I love you too."
I would stare for a bit...wondering was it not
okay to say these words...I'm not super sensitive
but that was the reason I gave myself for
retreating internally...I don't know why, but
I blamed myself for that.

Getting a much needed hug was bittersweet,
for I fought to extend the embrace for a larger
exhale; so many emotions filled me,
I thought I would finally explode with a verbal
expression of how my life was made so much
better from this gesture...but I fought in vain,
for the hug only lasted about the length of a
handshake...He pulled away...from me, it seems--
I'm not super sensitive but that
had to be the reason I set myself up for this
disappointment...I don't know why, but
I blamed myself for that.

As It Arrives

Painting pictures of the obvious in a
not-so-obvious way is sometimes more
challenging than creating an original piece
of art. This is my attempt at doing just that.

As air begins to whisper its minty secrets,
Chanting spells upon skin that lacks moisture,
Revealing traces of joints, evidence of use,
Lips begin to crack, split and scream in silence.

As air begins to whisper its minty secrets,
Chanting spells upon hips, knees, shoulders...
Revealing traces of sacrifice, deliberate for love;
Eyes begin to run, squint and focus in the present.

As air begins to whisper its minty secrets,
Chanting spells upon trees that lack the sun's passion,
Revealing traces of experience, the cycle of life;
Leaves begin to brown, bend and retreat in soil.

As air begins to whisper its minty secrets,
Chanting spells upon water ways, some small and still,
Revealing traces of survival, adaption or migration;
Nature begins to sleep, as it arrives.

Something's Wrong

Communication is key to any relationship's growth.
If you're paying attention, you will know when
something is wrong even if you don't know how to
fix it...

*sigh* She's upset again...

This time I don't have to guess, the catalyst

was my attempted mind-reading, assuming,

yet confusing her venting and non-responses

to my opinions, suggestions, and feelings as

"something's wrong"...



"Something's...missing...and I don't know what it

is...no I...don't know what it is..." ironically fills

the air--my appropriate Ipod Shuffle doing its

art imitating life thing again. "Pfft" is her way

of showing the recognition of the big bright

yellow and orange elephant in the room. So, why

wouldn't I conclude that "something's wrong" when

clearly all signs point to the corner of "Uh Oh".

"There's nothing wrong. I can't talk to you. I just

wanted to vent. I don't need you trying to fix my

problems or fix me. I'm not broken!"

It felt like I had just stepped off of a merry-go-round

and tried to run a few miles on a treadmill...I could

feel the world spinning beneath my feet yet I knew I

was standing still, motionless...confused...angry...

"I don't try to do anything but show you I care. Why would

you stop venting? Because I share a concern, proving I

was paying attention and feel a certain kind of way about

your plight? That's how I genuinely show I care for you!

That's the most authentic expression of caring that I know!"

Her reply: I have nothing else to say.

My inner voice: Something's wrong...