Talking to Myself Again

If I waited to see you, I’d probably stumble over words and jumble phrases, give so many examples and analogies you’d feel like I’m taking you on an amazing race through mazes as if I’ve only grazed over a speech that someone else prepared, but…in fact I’ve stared…gazed upon these thoughts—my life in lines that you could finally follow to the point where I am today, which is that I’m missing you like crazy.

I dare not say that I know what you are thinking but a possibility that may be creeping--the question of why am I making such a simple statement an enormity of complexity.  If you haven’t, then that only makes one of us and I’ve grown accustomed, although we’ve been together, for the most part, for too many years only now for me to realize that we have been never been one.  Despite efforts that I, at the time, felt were sincere but with hindsight, I know that no one could make the decisions I’ve made, been the way I’ve behaved and still wanted to be taken seriously, but for me, right now as I pray you can hear me speak as you read, I want you to know that I’m missing you like crazy.

Maybe I’m old news or my ship has sailed, I may be the old thing that has passed away…but for some reason, you have been on my brain like that gray matter, you two could be one in the same—the thing that controls me, the one that drives me, finds me when I’m lost and guides me back to safety.  Yet, I know now that I cannot count on that light from your lighthouse, to lead me by illumination…and I know what you’re saying, yes, I know what you’re thinking, that it’s far too late because you’ve changed the station.  If that is the case, then I wish you all the positive thoughts the world can send your way, but I had to let you know, that I’m missing you like crazy.