Duality of Realities

Pages of, descriptive depictions - Because, relentless intent, 
I'm just, sensitive and thinking that, this was meant for a reason,
Must be the season of change and exploration,
This thing that we're making is filled with complications
Yet our destination isn't why we choose this movement;
Slow motion like ocean waves, eroding shores then penetrate
An exciting cycle not to duplicated or repeated,
But with each time we meet, another chapter's reenacted 
By this fascination we share - uncharted territory - we dare...
This fascination we share...we dare...

Pages of, descriptive depictions - Above, patience like incense
We turn with a glow, wonder if there's anyone who knows,
This is meant for a reason, 
Must be the season of change and exhales,
Hearts racing, dreams chasing this things that we're making,
It's filled with complications, yet the current state of matters
Is the only that happens...
Escaping in each others arms becomes the reality 
We wish we could awake,
An exciting cycle replicated in different settings, 
Another chapter's reenacted
By this fascination we share - uncharted territory, 
Yet we're still here...
This fascination we share...we dare...

Pages of, descriptive depictions - Maybe L**e, 
This fascination we share,
Since reality can't compare, our duality becomes the clarity,
We're sensitive to the melody of our lives 
Choosing passion over everything,
This symbolizes more than what everyone is seeing,
It's this thing that we're making, we're filled with complications
Yet our motivation is just being - together, through as many seasons
Of change and exploration, patient waves and penetration,
Because with each time we meet, we dare...
This fascination we share...we dare...

When I Want You

Who wants war, when mornings are made with your smile, lunch with your walk, dinner with your being. I'm seeing life from this perspective, even when it gets hectic, your pressence is a weapon that takes away the stresses.

Who wants peace, when evenings are spent with your voice, prime time with our shows, late night with your toes. I'm living life different, even when its routine, your body on my body, we paint the perfect scene.

Who wants you, when all I do is think about the ways we can live out our days in amazing relations, with spacious engagements, and favorites of favors that never waver. 

Who wants more, when I could have you...

Meeting the Needs of a Truth #20

I’m not sure who wants it more.  I know it’s mine because it responds to me as if I’m in control.  This feeling of conquest, coupled with the anticipation of the return of someone I knew long ago in an another life…I feel energized.  I feel…full of life.  I feel…tensing in my back.  Not anxiety; more so a beckoning for release, as if shackles ripped the skin from dessert dusted ankles as a stumbling walk increases into a scramble for a much needed oasis.  But there are no mirages here…just time, space and opportunity to journey to one man’s land, prepared to allow another to conquer…to rule…to meet the needs of a truth that has been starving for a dose of an alternate reality. 

I'm not sure who wants it more.  I know it’s his because it responds to him as if he is in control.  This feeling of release, coupled with the anticipation of the perfect one to accept my invitation…I feel energized.  I feel…full of life.  I feel…tensing in my thighs.  Not anxiety, more so a yearning for release, as if I’ve been held captive in a dessert, shackled by my ankles when he, my oasis appeared and I find myself stumbling towards him with all my might.  And this is no mirage…just time, space and so much opportunity to explore this new world, to be conquered; then join the conqueror …to rule alongside him, as he meets the needs of the truth that I’ve been starving for…a dose of an alternate reality.

Talking to Myself Again

If I waited to see you, I’d probably stumble over words and jumble phrases, give so many examples and analogies you’d feel like I’m taking you on an amazing race through mazes as if I’ve only grazed over a speech that someone else prepared, but…in fact I’ve stared…gazed upon these thoughts—my life in lines that you could finally follow to the point where I am today, which is that I’m missing you like crazy.

I dare not say that I know what you are thinking but a possibility that may be creeping--the question of why am I making such a simple statement an enormity of complexity.  If you haven’t, then that only makes one of us and I’ve grown accustomed, although we’ve been together, for the most part, for too many years only now for me to realize that we have been never been one.  Despite efforts that I, at the time, felt were sincere but with hindsight, I know that no one could make the decisions I’ve made, been the way I’ve behaved and still wanted to be taken seriously, but for me, right now as I pray you can hear me speak as you read, I want you to know that I’m missing you like crazy.

Maybe I’m old news or my ship has sailed, I may be the old thing that has passed away…but for some reason, you have been on my brain like that gray matter, you two could be one in the same—the thing that controls me, the one that drives me, finds me when I’m lost and guides me back to safety.  Yet, I know now that I cannot count on that light from your lighthouse, to lead me by illumination…and I know what you’re saying, yes, I know what you’re thinking, that it’s far too late because you’ve changed the station.  If that is the case, then I wish you all the positive thoughts the world can send your way, but I had to let you know, that I’m missing you like crazy.  

Premeditated

So, I decided to end it all and commit all of my resources into doing so. At first, I was a little apologetic but those emotions became less and less sincere as I recited my statement of why I chose this course of action. The bottom line, as I like to say, is that when I attempted to balance the equation of my life, there were inequalities that needed to be eliminated. There were also a few key variables that needed to be added in, controlled variables that factored into why I am not content with the current standings of my empire. When everything was properly entered into equation the only viable answer was this…

Therefore, I’m ending this pathetic attempt at living and I’m making the choice to do what’s necessary for me to have peace. I’m sure there will be those that say they miss me…I imagine a few may mean it. Some may plead the case that there is always another way; that ending a life is never the answer. Well, that may be the case for others but not I. I, stand firm in my decision to dissolve my association with everything I’ve grown to know and love, even those who have tried to stand by me, comfort me and support me.

Feeling like a burden, being a burden to others is not my idea of living, yet, that is what I’ve been doing for the past few years. I know some psychologist may try to psycho analyze this, pointing out all of the I’s, relating it to a selfish act brought on by some condition that no one can pronounce to properly categorize my mental state upon my exit. Well, I know this is selfish. Of course it is! I’m looking out for myself, my feelings, and my well-being. The way I’ve been living has been torturous…I turn away from mirrors because I don’t see any reflection I recognize. I am so disappointed that I allowed my happiness to get away, that I bent and twisted my perception of life into such an unreasonable sense of reality that I can no longer recognize myself.

So many others could do so much more being in my shoes…so I’m providing that opportunity now. I’m leaving a list of people I’ve been investigating over the last year that would benefit greatly from the things that I will no longer need or use. Please follow the directions specified on the DVD recording. There will be no evidence of my remains. By the time this letter has been read, all of my assets will be liquidated and any funds, properties or assets unspecified for disbursement will be with me.

Clearing his throat, the family attorney breaks the silence in the room. “As you can see, Mr. Orswell has taken care of all logistics in matters of his estate. It appears he has been planning this escape for quite some time. Are there any questions?”

There are looks of horror, disgust and sadness throughout the room. Tears, mumbles and expletives are released as the reality began to sink in. He was gone. And no one would ever know where or how he could have pulled this off without anyone knowing.

“Yes, I have a question,” laughed Mrs. Orswell. “How is it that a man who was declared medically incapable of motor skills able to do all of this?” “Practice,” his eldest son replied.

“Patience and practice. Wasn’t that his motto? Oh wait...that was yours too.  I guess you his best friend Phillip can stop sneaking around now.”

“Watch your tongue young man! How dare you accuse…”

“Save it mom,” Brad interrupted. “Just save it…”

Mr. Orswell watched closely via satellite to ensure the reading was successful. He smiled, then, boarded an unmarked plane, determined to live out the rest of his days in peace.

Not an Original Thought

Never liked the word never thought I've used it a few times, most days I set my gaze on endless possibilities. Probably not an original thought, but that action or reaction makes life represent my art.

Let's think about ever again, or maybe ever after, endings can be predictable to end these chapters; No excuse for losing joy, happiness is employed so if you lose it, don't confuse the opportunity for more; You are worth way more than what your mind can score or, what your eyes can believe, life's like a movie individually themed, gleamed with those flashing lights, dark nights bring brighter days, so the saying goes...
 
But who needs another clever cover, slogan, song lyric, big brother spreading easier said than done words that do little to herd sorrow, aching, stomach turning emotion? Who could live ten thousand forevers and never want to hear poor analogies for optimistic realities, never want to see silver linings of just right timing because watches have been broken, clocks have been stolen and never ever could anyone predict that in the midst of attempting to extend pick-me-ups, life continues on and...sucking it up sucks, so that's why I...

Never liked the word never though I've used it a few times, most days I set my gaze on endless possibilities. Probably not an original thought, but actions and reactions makes life represent my art.

Staring Apology

I stare too much at your curves when you're not looking
My timing is off but it doesn't seem like you've noticed
While enjoying your exit or welcoming your presence 
The glare on my glasses gives me a slight edge
Let me apologize for staring...

I fantasize about your thighs
Wrapping them or me up in them, waist or cheek
Slowly stripping down to almost nothing
Yet I'm thinking, "ain't that something..."
Let me apologize for staring...

Flirting or actually being nice to me
Makes my appetite grow for your fruit toppings
Not seeing too many obstacles or options
So my dreams stay alive as my eyes feed my imagination
Let me apologize for staring...