In reflection of this piece, I feel it is necessary to share that
at times I have these moments of clarity. This piece is an
expression of one of those moments, where I recognized
some things about myself that I may never reveal, yet the
process in which this discovery was made, is one that
I felt I needed to share.
I was looking at myself in the mirror and I began to wonder
when my face became so familiar. I began to wonder when
my facial hair began to grow, when my mustache and chin
hair connected, when my nose hairs began to grow out of my
nose...and I can't remember...
I was looking at myself in the mirror and I began to wonder
when was my face rounder, when was my face slender, and
if I even knew it was either round or slender
without seeing pictures or having someone tell me I gained
or lost weight...and I can't remember any of that...
I was looking at myself in the mirror and I began to wonder
when my face began to change from laugh lines to trace lines
for an occasional scowl, where did these lines come from
that I'm finding in my face, or when my ears disappeared because
those things were huge! Wait...my ears still stick out from my
head (just pulled my hair back, darn it!)
but I don't remember when that other stuff began...
I was looking at myself in the mirror and I began to wonder
if I enjoyed my growth spurt, if my voice ever changed with the
dramatic screeches in the midst of excitement, or when I grew
all this body hair (my future wife will enjoy this I'm sure, Ha-Ha)
but I can't remember...
I was looking at myself in the mirror and I realized that I do not
look at myself. I have not looked at myself with the intent of
finding new things or to remind myself of who I am, even though
I look when I shave or to wash my face or to see how my clothes
may or may not fit. I am surprised that I haven't stopped and
stared because today I found that I didn't recognize myself...
I look familiar...but I do not appear to be the person I have
envisioned myself to be...and that has placed
a great smile on my face!
I was looking at myself in the mirror and I realized that
I am changing! I was looking at myself in the mirror and
I realized that if I'm not who I envisioned myself to be, then
who is this man that everyone else sees?
I realized that this is an opportunity, a grand opportunity that
I have each day; because with each day the changes mentioned
above had to have happened...slowly, but purposefully, they have
occurred, developing over time because with progression there
must be change--so I have this opportunity to project the on-going
production of an evolving man to the world that I am attached. I
realized that I have the opportunity to make lasting impressions
with small, maybe even unnoticeable gestures because
over time, those gestures will create a great change
in the world around me.
I was looking at myself in the mirror and I realized that
I am changing...I was looking at myself and I began to accept
these changes...I began to embrace these changes...I began to want
more changes to occur...
Because with any progression, there must be change!
