What Does It Mean

Regardless of what it is, any decision of significance
has consequences. These consequences may affect you
indirectly but will directly affect someone you hold dear.

Is that the price of happiness? Success? Finding your dreams?

Placing passion over people, passion over reason (in some cases)
and passion over love, may very well be the ultimate
sacrifice for what you want.

Is that the price your willing to pay for happiness? Success?
Achieving your dreams?

A dream deferred immediately becomes it's polar opposite...
a nightmare...a haunting reality that plagues the mind with
such questions as What if? How come? If only? Could there
have been?

So when you hear the statements "Follow your dreams" or
"Do what makes you happy"; what do these statements really mean?
Are you being told to prepare to sacrifice almost everything to
achieve your goals? Are you being told that the only way you
can follow your dreams is by making a choice or a series of choices
that will ultimately end with someone you care about being hurt...
Even if the hurt is unintentional or only lasts for a limited amount
of time, would it be worth it to you?

Think about it...doesn't everyone successful person
have regrets? Do your research...YouTube some videos...look at
their facial expressions during interviews...watch TMZ...public figures
or people who are labeled as those who have sought out and either are
achieving or have achieved their dreams, give up a lot because of their
achievements, regardless of their level of wealth.

Everyone deserves to be happy and to have peace of mind.
Everyone may not fully understand that it may come at a price.
What price are you willing to pay?

Unforseen Emotion

The hardest thing I've ever done was
_______________. I told myself I
would never do that again. For a few years
I stayed true to my word until
I made an even harder decision. How could I
allow you to _______? Why would
I think this would be ok for us? Why would I
think this would be ok for me?! I'm clearly
not as strong as what you may have hoped
or as I would have liked to be. There is no way
to accurately describe how it feels to be ______
yet I know I can't fill your ears with such thoughts.

You have it hard enough as it is,
dealing with being ____________________. How
selfish would it be to burden you
with my inability or my unwillingness to deal with
the situation I created for us?

Why didn't I just take the blue pill
and leave this so-called reality behind
and enter into the real world, our new world?
No cameras, no plot driven non-script...
just us...being...

My Mind Is Filled

My mind is filled with memory lanes,
Panes slightly cracked and ajar,
Allowing sunlight and a gentle breeze,
Bringing to light the darkness that has passed;
Past lives lived as present gifts disappeared...

Slowly...

Steadily...

Purposefully...

Stepping closer to an unknown vacancy filled with
Feelings of expectancy, expecting me to see
A sea of opportunity because what else could
Be there?

What else could await me?

The breast strokes of my best hopes hold on
To helplessness and careless lessons that
Beckon the day of reckoning that makes me
Accept the fact that I, alone, lack what it takes to be the
Man that I need to be, because seeing what I can be
Has been more influential than just being a human
Being in this stagnated enterprise, comprised of fire and ice,
Aggressively grasping the materials needed to make
A foundation strong enough to maintain change...
The only constant consistency within me...change...

The only constant consistency is
Not knowing who I am, yet feeling who I will be with He
Who holds my Trust because I want to trust another to
Be more than just thee...

My mind is filled with memory lanes,
Panes slightly cracked and ajar,
Allowing sunlight and a gentle breeze that
Brings to me: things, places, people and ideas;
Ideally to heal me because what's real to me--
Ideas I can't see...
Feelings I can't feel...
But the promises I know await me.

My mind is filled with memory lanes
Panes slightly cracked and ajar,
Allowing sunlight and a gentle breeze...
Upon the horizon of promises I know await me.

Excuse Me From Your Reality

This is a conversation…well, part of a conversation I had to have with myself during a time of turmoil in my life. It’s a little animated but, well...I'm a creative thinker and writer...

I’m not really sure how it has gotten to this point. What I do know is that I’m tired. Regardless of your feelings or how life is stressing you, I…ME…I AM TIRED, STRESSED and on some days not even sure who I am other than a mindless drone, going through the motions of life until I can effectively deal with MY LIFE. Yet, for some reason, there is your audacity knocking at my door…your impatience with what I’m doing, with what I need, because your “eye” only sees what you want.

Funny how that works out isn’t it…BUT not as funny as your repetitive manipulation or attempt to change situations to fit your benefit, your dreams or YOUR fantasies. If you like, I can just drop everything and cater to your every wish…maybe then, when I have neglected everything that is important in my life, MAYBE then you will have had your fill of ME and suggest I do some things for myself…after I have wasted time...with YOU.

Too bad you don’t have enough sense to support me or just leave me to my business so that I can take care of my responsibilities. Instead, you throw subliminal jabs when I decline an offer to “chill”, “hang out” or to do anything other than what I need to do. Excuse me and my life…as a matter of fact, PLEASE EXCUSE ME from YOUR reality and I wish you "NOTHING" because obviously that’s what you wish for me.