Today's Reality

Reaching back for evidence
to use today, you may lose
your space; your hand may
hold with great strength yet
your mind can lose it's grip;
now that's a reality, forget
the script.

Reaching back for evidence
to use today, you may lose
your space; so say what
dare, be courageous in
your cares; now that's a
reality, face your fears.

Reaching back for evidence
to use today, you may lose
your space; embrace that which
time can't be wasted, displaced
intentions, allow your passions
to lead, remain relentless; now
that's a reality, swing for the fences.

Back Up Again

As the school band played, he noticed his palms were not cold, and definitely not sweaty. He was calm…very calm, which was a relief. He had practiced his Valedictorian speech all week. He even worked a few jokes in with what he felt was great timing.

BUUZZZZZZZZ!!!

Oh man I just need to turn this thing off, he thought as he reached for his phone. His cousin, Danny Jr., had sent him an urgent message.

“Jay, I know this isn’t the best time but do you remember when we used to jump off of Grandma’s roof? We were so crazy back then. Never would’ve thought we’d be here now. Funny how we let go of those things…as long as we don’t let go of it all right? Can’t wait to hear your speech!”

As he walked to the podium, the words of the text message resounded inside of him like a loud bass drum. As he began his speech, he couldn’t shake the thought of “letting go of it all”. After a short pause, he realized his prepared speech meant nothing anymore and decided to speak from the heart.

“You know...before I got up here, I received a text from Danny Jr., my cousin and I've got to say it's changed my perspective on life…stand up Danny.”

The entire auditorium appeared to focus on Danny Jr., who welcomed the attention and waved vigorously at the crowds of people, thus causing a short response of laughter. Jay crumbled his speech and tossed it to the side of the stage, then positioned himself back at the podium.

“For many years, I believed I could fly. I’m not sure if it was the result of being a fan of comic book characters, cartoons or learning of the powers people possessed in the Bible. By the time I was privileged to watch Michael Jordan play basketball for the North Carolina Tarheels, the seed had already been planted and had established roots into my belief system.

Whether it was jumping ramps with our bikes that we created with planks and bricks, running as fast as we could to jump over or down into the creek or swinging on the park swing set so high that when we’d jump out of the seat, we paused in mid air, just long enough to pose for a picture, the dream of flying was expressed through our creativity. My cousins and friends and I even jumped from the roof of my grandparent’s house, some holding sheets or shirts across their backs for the effect of a cape. This belief in flight was contagious!”

More crowd laughter spewed in appreciation of Jay’s honesty but Jay kept speaking, seemingly unaware of how captivated he held his audience.

“As I grew up, some dreams of flight were realized, thanks to US Airways and others, while other dreams of flight dwindled as an overly used candle. For years, those feelings that had once inspired me lay dormant, often looked upon as fond memories of a naive child…yet, today I feel that inspiration returning. I feel a drive building inside of me to propel myself up, up and away; though not as the Man of Steel but as a Man of Will."

Jay paused briefly, looking down at his classmates and into the audience. Touching his chest, Jay continued. "I can feel it...building inside of me and I can’t help but embrace the belief again…that I can fly."

The words Jay spoke were building emotions inside of him that he hadn't felt in years, if ever. He took a step back from the podium to gather his thoughts. Simultaneously, more applause and cheers rang out, with words of encouragement for Jay to continue speaking from his heart. Even the professors and school officials appeared to sit on the edge of their seats, hoping he continued. Jay regained his composure and approached the podium.

"I am determined now, more than ever, to build my wings, to train my body to endure the extreme velocities needed for extended flights because once I go up, I don’t plan on coming down anytime soon. Sure I may dip down to the coast for a refreshing drink but then it’s back up again.

I wish I could give you this feeling…this feeling that no one can stop me…this feeling of confidence, of purpose, of peace that I’ve found my reason for living. I am here to fly. I am not here to serve as anything other than an inspiration to the world that anything is possible…because in fact, once you step out on faith, you may find yourself flying too. I believe I can fly…do you?”

The crowd erupted in cheers and applause in a standing ovation. There were chants of “Yes, I can fly!” coming from every angle. The senior class, the audience and school officials...all were out of their seats, cheering and chanting Jay’s name. As he gazed around the auditorium, he stood in awe of what a little inspiration can do.

Her Awareness

The blaze roared; devouring the oak dining room table and chairs her dad created for as their wedding gift. She heard a slight whistle seep from the cushions of the couch as they fell helplessly into the flames. As the rage of flames consumed the curtains, minuscule flakes sprang from the burning fabric. For a second, she awed at its beauty; its majestic form dominating all in its path. Escaping from the house, she could hear the sirens blaring. Her glossy eyes reflected the image of an inevitable truth--the hopelessness every human being encounters at least once in his/her lifetime--the loss of something you love. Although she was deeply saddened watching her home disappear before her eyes, one thing was clear--her awareness of who she was, which always proved to be in her favor.

I survived. I always survive.

As Jim arrived, he was overcome with emotion. He ran towards her, arms spread out in hopes to comfort her; yet she knew, he was the one who needed comforting the most. For the past nine months, Jim, his dad and his father-in-law, all worked on renovating this house, which finally began to feel like home.

“Glad we didn’t buy that welcome mat,” he offered, as a poor attempt to make her smile.

Jim was good at making me smile, but not tonight. She was focused on one thing. Survival. What would they have to do tomorrow? Meet with the insurance agent; go down to the police station and fire station to complete all reports…

“THE SAFE!”

“It’s fire proof Sweetie. I insured the paintings too. I know you thought I wouldn’t remember,” Jim joked, with a strained smile on his face.

She could tell he was hurting more than he let on. That’s what happens when you invest so much into something and all of the sudden, it’s gone. You feel depleted, immediately emptied and weighed down all at the same time. And she felt it too.

“Your dad always says, ‘B.S. happens…to some more than others. It’s what you do after that really matter.’”

“We’ll survive,” she whispered to Jim, smiling, knowing that Jim cleaned up her father’s words. Jim’s always been good at making me smile.

Taking a Break vs. Quitting

Recently, I’ve been analyzing the things in and around my life. Through this analysis, I am becoming more aware of what makes me tick. In doing so, I’ve had some profound revelations be revealed and confirmed by others who I consider have like minds. A more recent revelation has come from my love for gaming. It’s no secret that I enjoy playing video games. I’ve played, believe it or not, for close to 30 years! Regardless of what anyone says, playing video games challenges your senses, concentration and tests your determination to see tasks through until the end. As I thought about my desire for gaming and how involved I can become with a game, I posed a question via Twitter & Facebook: How do you know when to quit completely or when to take a break?

A good friend of mine, Mr. Griggs replied, “If you know what you need to do but keep making the same mistake, it’s time to take a break.” This is such a profound statement and should be applied to life in general. Taking a break is never a bad idea, if done for right reasons. Generally speaking, life can wear you down. If you’re giving all that you can and not seeing sufficient improvement, “it’s time to take a break.” To paraphrase another good friend of mine, Mr. Graves, in most cases, it’s good to get away from a situation so you can clear you mind and assess the situation from afar. Maybe you will discover that the game really isn’t worth any more of your time…or maybe you will find the answers you desire.

Lastly, my brother Mr. James told me, “You can never quit.” I believe in this completely. Quitting is never an option. If there is a way, I’m going to find it and I will be victorious! Please do not confuse this with any real life situation in which you may be in danger, physically or emotionally. Walking away or moving on are not the same as quitting. Quitting is when you haven’t given a sufficient effort. You didn’t try your best or even give the situation a chance to work out. In real life, you may need to walk away or move on. This doesn’t mean you’ve quit; you’re just choosing a different game to play; one where the rules and environment are conducive to your growth and success.

A Reluctant Truth

Ever had more than one puzzle box,

and some of the pieces from one

are raked into another? When you try to

put the pieces together to complete the puzzle,

some pieces may fit into the picture but once

the puzzle pieces are in place, the picture is

still not complete. The picture will have a

distortion in colors or it may be an obvious

irregularity that throws off the image you've

tried to create.

This lesson can be applied to every day life.

Some things and some people, no matter how

fond you are of them, do not fit into your life.

Whether it's a love of sweets and you have diabetes,

salty foods versus high blood pressure, or even

in relationships. Some people do not fit into

your life. And that's okay.

The challenge is to accept this reluctant truth

and have the courage to move forward.

"Puzzles have pieces that may fit into others;

yet fail to complete the picture." -- AAW

Doing Too Much

“Let me get that,” his baritone voice insisted.

As he reached for his wallet with his left hand, his right hand touched hers for the first time. First dates are usually the most revealing and misleading of all experiences of a young couple. She had to admit it was refreshing to have a genuine offer to pay for dinner and not have to endure another passive-aggressive reverse psychological exchange where she ended up paying entirely for the meal.

Enjoy the moment. Don’t get too far ahead of yourself Estelle. He does have a beautiful smile, kind of like David’s. Oh, how I miss…No Estelle! Focus on the present. It’s been three years. Besides, this is the first guy to take you to church without you suggesting it! Oh no…have I been staring at him all this time? Oh God! Wait…has he been staring at me? Oh my God he was!

She dropped her head, and slowly, looked up at him, raking back her hair with her left hand.

“Those are very nice earrings. They really bring out your eyes.”

He compliments earrings and compares them to my eyes? Who does that? This guy is too good to be true…no…I’ll be positive. Just stay on your toes Estelle. He may be doing too much, but I like it…

The Awareness

I can see it so clearly.

Sure I wear glasses but there isn't any glare;

Only well-defined edges, sharp colors and

the awareness of the slightest movement.

I can feel it's near.

Sure I'm hairy but none are standing on my body;

Only the feeling of distinct breezes, cool and warm and

the awareness of the slightest movement.

I can definitely hear it.

Sure I'm musically inclined but this isn't familiar;

Only vibrant rhythms, vocals, instrumentation and

the awareness of the slightest movement.

I can surely taste it.

Sure I'm hungry but there's also an undying thirst;

Only it's not for consumption, but of achievement and

the awareness of the slightest movement.

I am confident I know it.

Sure I'm only beginning but I've got a head start;

Only because I'm wise enough to seek wisdom from

the awareness of the world's slightest movement.

Leading Me Home

Lost without a map,

With a growing feeling of awareness;

Pushing and pulling in an unknown direction.

Lost without a map,

With a passion to complete this journey;

Pushing and pulling in a desired direction.

Lost without a map,

With an idea of what is needed;

Pushing and pulling in a familiar direction.

Lost without a map,

With a dream that illustrates hope;

Pushing and pulling, leading me home.

Inside First

Dear You,

Looking in the mirror and loving what you see begins by loving what’s on the inside FIRST. As cliché as this may be, it is one of the truest statements when it comes to love. Whether you are looking for love, hoping love finds you or confused about how or when to love, it all begins inside.

Think about it…if you don’t take time to get to know who you are as a person, how can you see who you really are? When you look in the mirror, you see what’s on the inside and outside all at once. So, if there are things you dislike, don't understand or are concerned about, feelings of uncertainty can cloud your vision and you see an obscure reflection that is not truly representative of you.

Why do you think it’s hard for some people to take a compliment? Maybe this person is so busy looking at the flaws on the inside; it overwhelms the natural beauty on the outside. And yes, “you are your worst critic” but that doesn’t mean it has to consume you. Sooner or later, I want you to be comfortable with yourself. Sooner, rather than later, begin to love your quirky uniqueness and embrace who you are today as the foundation of the person you will be tomorrow.

The Bible gives us the Golden Rule, to treat others the way you want to be treated. So, love yourself unconditionally from the inside out, FIRST. It makes it easier to love others and for others to love and appreciate you.

Sincerely,

Me

The Art of Tough Love (Caution: I'm Not An Expert. These Are Just My Thoughts.)

Withholding information, lying by omission, or just plain fabricating and creating a grand tale of epic proportions can actually be justified when the act serves is derived from a genuine expression of selflessness. More often than not, we are not so lucky to have such acts performed that are not spawned from ulterior motives. In such cases, it is clear that divulging truthful statements, no matter the harsh realities they may reveal, is one of the best ways to express your love for another. This isn’t to say or suggest that tactless rants of criticism should be spewed at a moment’s notice. It is, however, encouragement for the promotion of efficient and effective communication. Holding back or refusing to share helpful information can be far more damaging to a relationship than giving constructive criticism. Be mindful that some people, actually, most people may not be open to or welcome criticism because of their ego, and that’s perfectly normal. With this in mind, constructing thoughtful, genuine and tactful messages is the key to sharing thoughts that may be intended to help but may be taken as criticism.

Growing up, my family was infamous (and still is) for “telling it like it is.” My grandmother would tell often remind everyone, “Don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answers to.” When you’re young, priceless jewels like these are challenging to appreciate. Once you’ve lived and experienced life, you learn how simple statements like these apply to many situations. In regards to this topic, offering your opinion out of love, concern and genuine affection from someone is what some call Tough Love. This type of love allows parents to tell their children “you stink, go wash” or a friend to offer another a stick of gum or a wife to suggest to her husband not to wear those some tight khakis that are too revealing.

On the flip side of this, holding back on expressing how you feel can be just as damaging, if not more. When you hold in emotions, it transforms into stress and after a while your body will adjust and you won’t even realize you’re stressed. Your actions may be a tad off and those close to you may recognize. As time passes and more stress is added to your life, it will begin to manifest itself in different ways life loss of libido, emotional breakdowns, uncontrollable fits of anxiety and possibly depression. Not to be Donald Downer but these examples are real. Also, holding back Tough Love and emotions could make matters worse for your loved one. For example, if your mate is a bad cook they invite their boss over for dinner, this could be disastrous. Your mate’s boss may be very forthcoming about his/her experience with the badly prepared meal. This could place you in a bad light because you could’ve saved your loved one this embarrassment, which usually hurts more than a Tough Love statement.

Lastly, if you do decide to give Tough Love, be sure you have helpful suggestions or options for correcting the situation or suggestions to go about finding a solution. Criticizing without offering guidance or a helping hand to improve is futile, and honestly, something a selfish person would do. As the late, great Michael Jackson displayed, make Tough Love expressions “with love.” So, with that in mind, please remember, there are many ways to express love. Tough Love is better than No Love. Now, don’t go out into the world and get beat up because your not tactful. Be cautious and patient when determining how and when to express Tough Love. If you’re not sure how to be tactful, write your thoughts down and read them out loud to yourself. Imagine someone is saying those things to you. Then, be sure to insert phrases like, “I’m saying this out of love so please hear me out” and “forgive me if this comes off as mean because it is not my intention.” Finally, brace yourself because when you give a little Tough Love, you may receive a lot in return.

It's Your Choice

Each day I wake up, I have a routine that I like to follow. This routine prepares me for the day and helps me to get into a positive state of mind. I read a devotional that is sent to me via email and it always has a Bible verse at the end. Then, I read the entire chapter in the Bible where the verse came from. One thing my parents taught me was to read what happens before and after a verse you come in contact. Verses can be interpreted in different ways so it’s important to see the context it was originally written. This isn’t to say that any interpretation is right or wrong. For me, it gives me clarity and a better understanding of how to apply it to my life. Lastly, I like to read some positive quotes that I get via email as well.

Once I’ve meditated on these words from others, I create my own words of wisdom, inspiration or motivation to share with the world. I share my words in hopes to help others have better days. I experience tough times just like anyone else, more than what I’d like admit. It’s always good to have a cheering section to encourage you and push you forward. For those who don’t, I hope that my words can find their way into those who need it. These are just some of the things I do to spread love in a world where negativity is promoted more than anything else. What do you do to stay positive or to be a positive light for those around you?

Being positive isn’t always easy, but making the choice should be.

Life Lesson: Shell Shocked

For those who grew up spending a lot of time with your grandparents, you know that from time to time, they drop some serious knowledge on you, when you least expect it. My grandfather, on my dad’s side, had a knack of making profound statements that hit me later in life. Once, when I was 7 years old, he asked me to help him with the “kooda” (that’s a large turtle or tortoise for those who don’t know). Now, we grew up with all types of farm animals: chickens, deer, pigs, cows, rabbits, fish, etc. so this wasn’t anything new to me.

Well, I was very excited and jumped at the chance to help out. I followed my grandfather to his pickup truck and helped him get a bucket off the back. Inside was the “kooda” and it was still alive. We walked over to a large chopping block. My grandfather took the “kooda” out of the bucket and sat it on this large piece of wood.

He told me, “When I tell you, hold that stick out with both hands in front of the shell. He’s gonnabe quick so don’t jump. His head is gonna jump out and he’s gonna snap down on the stick. When he does, just hold it steady and pull back slowly.”

As I found a stick for the task, I noticed that my grandfather had a screwdriver in his hand but I didn’t put two and two together. When it was time, I held the stick out in front of me and a few seconds later…SNAP! The turtle head sprung from its shell and grabbed the stick.

I was so happy and excited I was almost screaming to the top of my lungs, “Granddaddy! I got’em! I got’em!”

“Pull back just a lil’bit…a lil’bit more…” my grandfather told me as he walked to me slowly.

THUNK! The sound of metal going through wood echoed in my ears. When I looked down, I was shocked to see the screwdriver pierced through the neck of the turtle, down into the chopping block where it was sitting.

My grandfather, baffled by the shock in my face asked, “What did you think we were doing? Playing with him? We don’t play with our food.”

I let go of the stick and watched as my grandfather chopped the head off of the “kooda.” My memory fads after this but I’m sure he removed the turtle from its shell and took it into the house for my grandmother to prepare for dinner. Although this experience was shocking, it taught me some valuable lessons. Over the years, I have grown to appreciate and apply these lessons to my life.

Looking back, I can see three ways this story can be applied to everyday life.

1. Know what you’re getting yourself into. Just because you want to spend time with someone or you really want to participate in an activity, be sure you know what it all entails. Too many times in life we let our emotions hinder intellectual judgment, or at the very least, skew our perceptions of reality.

2. Don’t play with your food. When you’re an adult, you have to look out for the essentials in life: food, shelter and clothing. Playing with your food means jeopardizing one of those things. Also, sometimes necessary actions must be taken in order for you and your family to eat. You may not want to do certain jobs or sacrifice certain things but at the end of the day, food, shelter and clothing are most important.

3. Everything has its purpose. We should be thankful for the food we eat, for the people in our lives and the abilities that we acquire. A universal respect for all living things, for all experiences is necessary to live a balanced life.

WorthyWords: Appreciate your Life, your Gifts, your Abilities & Talents. It's a slap in the face of those who have less than you.

The Purgatory of Decision-Making

Being calm in chaotic situations
Challenges your concentration
To maintain a heightened level
Of patience for an unknown
Amount of time. As you observe
The world around you, take
Plenty of notes. Allow yourself
To feel the rhythm of destruction;
See the entrance of irony and the
Departure of Fear; Hear the
Harmony of a world that’s
Tumbling down, just to be built
Up again; Embrace the
Lost and Found--the purgatory
Of Decision-Making. This is
The opportunity to choose your
Own adventure, without the
Option of looking ahead to see
If your choice is the one you
Want to keep. The stakes may be
High, causing years of recovery,
If you do not choose wisely...
This is the dilemma and thrill
Of a Game Changer—a choice in time
Where Destiny is in the eye of the
Beholder; Where Fate is in the Hands
Of the Novice, wishing to earn battle scars;
The proof of maturity; the evidence of
Faith in oneself, in the chosen path
Where leaders are created.

A Bad Thing? Not Really

My dad is a pretty complex man;
that doesn't mean that I don't
understand him. It just means that
to understand him you have to do
a little more work than just listening...
I imagine I inherited this characteristic
honestly and it's taken years for me
to accept the fact that only a few people
in my entire life will ever "get me." One
day, my dad revealed an observation of
my character that I didn't understand at
first, but with time, it became resoundingly
clear and supported by the Word of God.

"Son, you have a big heart...and that’s not a
bad thing…but one day, it's gonna get you
in trouble. You won't understand why
because you will in the midst of the storm,
and once the dust settles, you will see that you
won't be able to do anything about the mess
around you." Of course I was concerned
about this revelation that was given to me,
but more importantly, I wondered how was
having a big heart ever considered “a bad
thing?” My dad reminded me of Joseph
and his brothers. In Genesis, Chapter 37,
Joseph was envied by his brothers because
Joseph was the “favorite son” of their dad.
Joseph didn’t see his favor and loved his
brothers still, so much that he wanted to
share his dreams with them. When he did,
they hated him even more.

The lessons of this story can be unpacked into
several life lessons, but I’m going to focus on
one. You can’t please everyone. Like my dad
told me, having a big heart isn’t bad, but trying
to please everyone is impossible. Despite my
best efforts, I couldn’t please everyone
and the person who was hurt the most
was me. I couldn’t figure out why my efforts
weren’t accepted or understood. Finally, I
realized that it wasn’t for me to try to please
anyone but God. Also, I needed to focus on what
was best for me, not with selfish or evil intent,
but for the welfare of my future. Sooner or later,
decisions that are made will hurt those you love
(missing you when you go away to school, you
choose a career you love vs. the one they think
you should have, etc). The trick is to accept it
and pray that those you love, love you the same
and will support you.

Staying Positive

Some say the brighter side of life

Ain't worth seeing, so when you

See me smiling, know I did not

believe'em; You see, I always chose

The roads with less pavement, the

Paths with more gravel; Grass and

Dirt ensured the way would be much

Narrow.

My focus on heights, sparrows

Weren't the only catch of my eye;

There are eagles who taught their

young the foundations of flights;

I...without sight, chose wisdom as

my guiding light; focused on its

Lighthouse, doused in pain, passion

And pressure, to weather any "whatever"

The present may bring; realizing the

Future ain't meant to be seen.

Still I dream...still I desire...for more;

My life demands soreness, the

Results of relentless determination;

Driven through frustration, my talent is

Nothing if I...only dream...if I only

Desire...for more...the world needs what

I have...in...store...I...just need...to walk

Through the door.

If Not For Adversity...

When I was young and began to speak
in full sentences, it was clear
my mind functioned on a heightened
level of consciousness. So many
thoughts, ideas, and concepts were
developing and maturing at an
extremely high rate...faster
than my brain could control my muscles
to speak...and so...without notice, in the
excitement of having fully formed
thoughts to express and contribute
to any conversation, I began to stutter.
My family and I worked diligently to
improve my speech impediment.
And now, I'm an educator...having logged
countless hours of public speaking in
undergraduate and graduate classes
and extra curricular activities.

By the time I was 6 years old, my
parents divorced; our family as I knew
it was over. Maybe it was my youth
that enabled me to create certain
realities or distortions of reality over
the years, but as the curtain rose, the
smoke cleared, and the dust settled,
my days and nights over the years
blended together as a dark blur of
time that I have difficulty, as an adult,
to remember vaguely. Ironically, when
giving advice or looking for words to
inspire students, friends, family or loved
ones, I feel a fire of passion that I'm
sure burns from the same place that
helped me through those blurred years.

Upon reflection as an adult, it is safe to
conclude that the dynamics of every
relationship I have ever attempted
have been directly affected by
those years of blurred thoughts and
experiences. To explain this to
a young lady I haven't known for an
extended time was inconceivable, thus
creating a cycle of heartache,
headache and sleep deprivation. As
a man approaching his mid 30's, I
have achieved and received clarity
on many issues that have plagued,
construed and Blessed my life, yet,
I'm wise enough to know that I still
have much to learn.

I consistently make conscious
efforts to maintain and increase a
positive mind frame and a vibrant
beat of hope in my heart. I do this
because this is how I want to live,
so this is how I choose to live. I accept
Adversity as an ally, not an
Adversary. If not for adversity,
how would we learn,
grow and become better?

Believe in Yourself, No Matter What

Everyday presents opportunities that may never
occur again. I'm sure you have heard this before, in a
variety of ways--clever sayings, quotes by the famous,
infamous, and the intellectual. Interestingly enough,
decades have passed in my life and this same idea, this
statement, this knowledge is still being repeated. To my
understanding, the reason why things are repeated,
re-worded or reiterated is because some still haven't
grasped the concept. There must have been a failure in
communication, the first, third or three-hundredth time
it was expressed. Whether it was the fault of the presenter
or if it fell on deaf ears, the point is still clear:

In order to be successful, we must be ready.

How do we get ready?

Direction, Preparation and Faith.

Once we have direction, we must prepare. Another blog
will touch on these two, but I want to talk about having
Faith. According to the Bible, Faith is the hope of things
that are yet to be seen (pardon the paraphrase).

Whatever your religion, we should definitely have
Faith in ourselves. This isn't to say that we throw our
belief system out of the window and put all of our trust
in our own talents, thoughts and abilities. What this
means is that we combine our spiritual Faith with a
Faith in our talents, thoughts, abilities and hope of
what we want to achieve or acquire.

This can be applied to careers, family life or personal
life. I'm sure you have seen, known, or
heard of those who have amazing talents. Some
you may have envied, "Oh, man if I could sing like that;
if I could remember things like her; if I could speak in
front of people like that," etc. Yet, some who have
these abilities or talents, in your opinion, seem to
squander them (it may even piss you off a little). Now,
I'm not saying this is a fact for most, but the reason
for the squandering may very well be their lack of
Faith in themselves has left them with
this potential seemingly unfulfilled. I would also like
to add that everyone's passions are different and
just because we have a talent or ability doesn't mean
we have a passion to pursue it to higher levels--hence
the phrase potential seemingly unfulfilled.

Sure, setbacks happen. Sure, some may plot against
us. Sure, adversity can come within a split second...
and continue, seemingly forever. But I have seen
unlikely success stories, those who remained
steadfast in their position, determined to
overcome whatever lay in their path.

My cousin, John, told me,

"determination will beat talent any day."

Just imagine if you were a determined,
talented individual...

In closing I would like express, with all of my being,
one last thing:

Believe in yourself, no matter what!
Who are you to stand in the way of greatness?!

A Clear Vision of Life

Stadium blasts of mirror glass images, Depicting rituals, situational forensics; Revealing mysteries, specifically calligraphy, Signs of the times, making sight seem blind. Fast forward or rewind, see Courage come alive; Relentless sentiments exist only to the fearless. Those stadium blasts are as clear as silent room whispers. Stadium blasts of mirror glass images, Depicting rituals, situational forensics; Commitments of dispositions, proposed with a kiss, Left turn signal for the right lane change; Indecent luck draws attention listen...crowd applause; A simple black dress invites thirsts for conquests, Relentless sentiments exist only to the fearless, Those stadium blasts are as clear as silent room whispers. Stadium blasts of mirror glass images, Depicting rituals, situational forensics; Bells toll for revelations to the searchers of the soul, Lost cities deviate into homes through contemplation; Foundations are ideas, reconstruction can conceal; Gender roles model hollows sleeping late into tomorrow; Relentless sentiments exist only to the fearless, Those stadium blasts are as clear as silent room whispers.

I Am Not...Yet...

Stadium blasts of mirror glass images

Depicting rituals, situational forensics

Revealing mysteries, specifically cholegraphy

Signs of the times, making sight seem blind

Fast forward or rewind, see Courage come alive

When an avalanche gains momentum it's a system

Relentless sentiments exist only to the fearless

Those stadium blasts are as clear as silent room whispers

Stadium blasts of mirror glass images

Depicting rituals, situational forensics

Commitments of dispositions, proposed with a kiss

Left turn signal for the right lane change

Indecent luck draws attention listen...crowd applause

A simple black dress invites thirsts for conquests

Relentless sentiments exist only to the fearless

Those stadium blasts are as clear as silent room whispers

Stadium blasts of mirror glass images

Depicting rituals, situational forensics

Bells toll revelations to the searchers of the soul

Lost cities deviate into homes through contemplation

Foundations are ideas, reconstruction can conceal

Gender roles model hollows sleeping late into tomorrow

Relentless sentiments exist only to the fearless

Those stadium blasts are as clear as silent room whispers

A Journey Out of Order

As my mind bends through time,
After lives sent me into the clouds,
Armed, with the confidence to represent my purpose
And the will to endure my consequences,
I remember the plot of an artist's life,
Imitating love, struggle, plight, pain;
My sights were set upon the uncharted land,
Where I met Understanding, Wisdom and Truth.

As my mind bends through time,
When lives sent me underground,
Unarmed, with little resolve to represent any purpose
Or the will to endure my consequences,
I molded the talent's of an artist's craft,
Discovering love, struggle, plight, and pain;
My sights set upon the charted land,
Wishing for Understanding, Wisdom and Truth.

As my mind bends through time,
As lives send me through dreams,
Armed, with ambition to represent a purpose
And the will to overlook my consequences,
I embrace the passion of an artist's craft,
Living love, struggle, plight and pain;
My sights set upon the uncharted land,
Anticipating Understanding, Wisdom and Truth.

Fate's Favor

Slowly sippin away,
Ignoring playmates,
Forgetting play dates,
"You could have it all,"
Then, years passed...
Guess Fate made me wait.

Slowly sippin away,
Present days blurred into dreams of yesterday;
Words slurred--head on collisions--
Too many ideas,
Can't speak in this condition;
The fear of deviating with tangents
As my ideas mutate,
Around the statement she made,
Replaying over and over again,
"You can have it all,"
Then, years passed...
Guess Fate made me wait.

No longer sippin...now I'm slippin away,
I see the sunrise, it's blinding,
A new light illuminates my pathway;
This narrow road is difficult,
And disappears with each step,
So there's no turning back
It's much easier to look up;
The way is much clearer
When I look out in the distance,
I see the end of the road and
What's right in front of me,
Like it was the back of my hand;
My heart opened up to the words as she said,
"You will have it all,"
Then, years passed...
I'm glad Fate made me wait.

Distorted Reflection

I...ran...as fast as I...could...

So why do I wonder if I could have done more?
Why do I replay that day over and over in my head?
What's the use of contemplating the "maybe"?
I mean, at the time...I did what I could...right?

I...ran...as...fast...as...I...could...
Because when I arrived,
It felt like I had the lungs of a mouse,
Running with the legs of a panther,
Strong, smooth, gliding through space,
As if time hesitated in awe of my determination;
But it wasn't enough...I didn't make it in time...

I...ran...as...fast...as I thought...I...could...
And as the days pass,
I can't help but play out different scenarios in my head,
Giving me more of chance,
Yet...if I didn't do as much as I could when
I was at the height of emotion, how could I have possibly
Produced more--energy, will, determination, time--

I guess hindsight isn't always 20/20...

It's All Connected...

I see...

Indentions...

In my tongue...

As I stare at them, I begin to wonder...

Where did these come from? How long have I had these?

Is this normal?

Then...reality settled in...my shoulders dropped...and

I sighed...

Could this be the result of holding my tongue so

much that I bite it...

In my sleep?

I may be very random yet my mind

sees all in a linear model...

All connected, even things that create their own path...

So...I connected the dots,

developed a Hypothesis, collected data and compared

it to a control group; Varied variables and conserved

constants who consistently revealed iirrefutable evidence

that as I "handle situations very well" and "seem to always

be calm" or "am rarely upset over anything" and despite

my best efforts to relieve stress...

I internalize emotions in abundance

Causing involuntary muscles to contract

From the pressure of tension, possibly

Piercing layers of tissue that I need for tasting...

No wonder when I get upset

I lose my appetite...

I do not wish to be seen as a "Know-it-All" or

Anyone of the sort...

I know enough to know I don't know nearly as much

As I would like, yet quite often I know more than

Enough to share with others, thus providing

Catalysts for epiphanies to ignite a flame of change;

A restructuring of realities if you will...yet...I choose

To keep things to myself...

Although I may do so, I'm not a fan of

repeating myself. I'm not a fan of pity parties even

if I have had my share in the past.

I choose to live my days in the most positive ways

I can imagine...so...I take a little extra time to choose

My words more carefully...

Sometimes my words are clear to me and not others.

Other times my words are unclear and can not choose any...

For the time being...

Lastly, for now, some aren't ready to

accept These verbal expressions as genuine

aids to Improving life, understanding or a particular

situation. I consider this because the rejection of

some truths Can be quite disturbing and disruptive

to a Relationship--for lack of a better word...so...

Instead of creating these possible outcomes...

I bite my tongue...figuratively...

And now I see, I bite it literally...

Initial Thoughts After Winning

As I start from the end,

Finishing at the line where they begin,

I end with a lean, I am inner screams,

Cinematic soundtrack--instrumental life;

Music moved me to move swift,

Swept my cares under the rug...

So one day I can reminisce.

A Quick Note...For You...

If you get home first,
Please start dinner...I know you had a long day but...
The meat is already in a bowl, marinating in the fridge,
And there is a bottle of RED wine by the sugar--
I set it out so you wouldn't have a choice;
As you can see I'm getting better at letting you
Know what I want. *insert smiley face here*

Pre-heat the oven at 350 degrees,
By the time the RED light goes off
You should have placed the meat in the grill pan...
The one you gave me for our first Date Night
You started a couple of months ago--
I set it out so you wouldn't have a choice;
As you can see I'm getting better at letting you
Know what I want. *insert smiley face here*

Now, after about 15 minutes,
Turn off the stove...the meat will keep cooking
So...the RED light will still be on to let you know
The oven is still HOT--after about five minutes
If I'm still not there, take it out of the oven and place it
On the "pan stand" as I call it--the one I gave you
For Our Second Date Night gift--it was a gag but you
LOVE it so...I still don't understand why...
I set it out so you wouldn't have a choice;
As you can see I'm getting better at letting you
Know what I want *insert smiley face here*

If you walk to the door now,
You will see I'm standing here,
With an arm full of flowers, balloons, and a card--
It's Monday and I know you had a big presentation
This morning...I know you probably didn't do any
Of what I wrote because you are drained and couldn't
Believe I left you a "Honey-Do" list on a day like today;
I am going to do all of those things
After I run you a bath...you see,
I set this note out so you wouldn't have a choice;
As you can see I'm getting better at letting you
Know that all I want is YOU! *insert smiley face here*

Maybe I've Given Up

I see you...

Speeding through residentials,
Exceeding everyone's limits by
Indulging gluttonously--solids and liquids,
Blasphemously, tirelessly inviting
Any free ear to your weekly pity party,
Seems like a relief, when I'm too busy to speak,
Yet I feel bad for not getting behind in my work,
For not losing sleep to comfort you in vain...

Maybe I've given up...

I see you...

Using language becoming of a parental advisory,
Disrespecting yourself and family
Trying to impress your friends,
Refusing to follow any directions other than
The ones that take you nowhere,
A place that's so familiar;
Instead of home...you choose to go there,
Instead of forward into a positive, prosperous
And rewarding future, you go nowhere...
Nowhere is more attractive,
Nowhere is where you can make nothing happen,
Therefore...Nothing can go wrong...
So wanting to go nowhere has to be okay...
And I've stopped yelling, singing and speaking
My old song of encouragement
Because instead of picking you up,
It's bringing me down...

Maybe I've given up...

I see you...

Now you see me too...Finally...

You ask me what am I looking at and before today
My response would you; a future; a reality based upon
Rules that fit perfectly, life's tailored suit--

Yet you failed to even try it on,

So what I'm looking at, I don't have a clue...

Maybe I've given up...

In Battle or War

Mistakes are costly--time, trust, sleep;
Prepare for what can't be predicted,
Anticipate what shouldn't be assumed,
Accepting casualties as a gain of inner strength,
Or a test to see if you have any room to grow;
Adapt to the unforeseen, because foreseeability
Can only take you to the edge of your reality;
Quick thinking is the bridge over turbulent seas,
In battle...or war.

Mistakes are costly--time, trust, sleep;
Quick wits rely on the recognition of key points,
Lack of focus is the ultimate adversary;
Take heed to the advice of a veteran,
Yet full application without interpretation
Will distort optimal outcomes;
Not applying proven strategies increases
The possibility of failure, which is the
Opposite of the desired goal,
In battle...or war.

Mistakes are costly--time, trust, sleep;
Trust demands a non-refundable payment
Of vulnerability, which can damage any
Fortification, no matter the reinforcement;
Don't let yourself get in the way of victory,
The ability to trust breeds loyalty, which
Feuls fire of the brave, maintains the
Determination of the triumphant, and
Tells the story of the unforgettable,
In battle...or war.

The Irony of Leadership

Leaders are defined by the people they lead;
Their decisions are admired,
Their ability to make and stand by tough choices,
Their determination to achieve, in spite of adversity;
Yet, no one can be a leader if no one follows.

Leaders are defined by the people they lead;
At first leadership qualities are fresh,
Sharp--exercised daily, maturing adequately
With each new event that presents a challenge;
The inspiration, though many may try to argue,
Is derived from the intimate relationships between
A leader and the people that choose to follow;
People so close that the leader can truly empathize;
So close that the leader is fueled by a mere sigh.

Leaders are defined by the people they lead;
Strangely enough, every great leader faces the
Irony of an inevitable truth...
As time passes, so does a good word, and more and
More followers come because of this good word and
Allow themselves to be lead;
The irony is that the intimate relationships
Between the leader and the followers is jeopardized
By additions to the flock,
Yet a great leader will not turn a genuine heart away,
But the more followers a leader has,
The less the leader knows of his followers.

Mad Men

Mad Men say sin is the root of inspiration,
Suggestions are subliminal and literal interpretations,
Can be taken out of context, the subject of reality;
The intensity of invitations made in the moment,
Blurred lines of intentions
Scorned lives of the hopeful;
Sad sounds of a frowning clown's laugh is an opus,
A second hand smokers stabbing forks into toasters;
Death comes in many forms,
Can even walk among the living,
Money devours relationships--Marriages end,
Seen the rich disown their siblings.

Mad men say sin is the root of inspiration,
Suggestions are subliminal and literal interpretations;
Exhaustion clouds judgements,
Like liquid courage in a glass;
Intoxicated by the stage,
All of the lights is like a cage
Your image and behaviors are captured in plain sight,
Still stare out at the audience,
Claiming you have the right;
Setting fire to house that built your foundation,
The insurance check slaps you like why the hesitation.

Mad Men say sin is the root of inspiration,
Suggestions are subliminal and literal interpretations.

Consequences Are Dealt

Instead of talking, confused stares surveyed
the lot, eye brows caved into the slope of
a nose growing...away...

"I'm not who you think I am! This is only a
mere shell! The real me cannot be seen or
felt by touching! Don't! Don't...
touch...me..."

Instead of listening, hands stretched out,
expecting to catch the liar in their grasp,
some pulled, some scratched...He cried out,
"Don't! Don't...touch...me! What you see
and feel will deceive you!"

Yet the nose grew, in his disbelief, and their
sights agreed, "he is guilty, a living lie! Let's
teach him a lesson, cast this demon aside!"

So they held and chopped, chopped and pulled,
removing the lie, as fast as they could. It felt
right, seemed like the only thing to do. "Those
who look guilty and sound guilty too, deserve
to be removed, consequences are dealt."

That night, there was a rumble, a commotion by
the pile. The wood was higher, for the liar
was stacked. As a crowd grew, staring in disbelief,
his mouth didn't move, yet they heard him speak.

"I'm not who you think I am! This is a mere shell!
The real me can't be seen or felt by touching me!"

Confused...the town's people turned and tried to
speak and condemn, but their voices were never
heard, not even a whim. They reached out to console
one another and felt nothing. Tears bursting from
their eyes, silent cries muffled in silence, he spoke
once again atop of the stack...and vanished,

"Those who look guilty and sound guilty too,
deserve to be removed, consequences are dealt."

My First Time

My first time was amazing! No, no...it was
spectacular! Unreal! Beyond words...seriously,
I have probably read through an entire
thesaurus searching for words to describe what
I felt...after my first time...

My first time was amazing, not because it was
perfect; not because I knew what I was doing;
it was amazing because I knew it was what I wanted;
once I started, I knew I would need to do
it again, I HAD to do it again--I wanted to be the best...
after my first time...

My first time was amazing...I mean, it had to be;
that's where it all began; it's when I got my first
taste...it's when the thirst began--mirroring the
chase of the first high--my eyes, ears, and hands
were wide open, awaiting the chance to do it...again...
after my first time...

My first time was at a laundry mat, thanks Mom...then,
in the comfort of the home I grew up in, with an Atari 2600...
since then, I have never been the same...thanks Dad!

Once Upon A Time...

Once upon a time...
I became regretful;
Second guessing from contemplation,
the dwelling and pondering persuaded my
rationale to bend, in hopes that the pressure
of a definite position would subside to allow a less
painful feeling to endure, other than this...

Once upon a time...
I lost focus;
Drifting off into an abyss,
falling steadily into a perilous plight;
the flight of a kamikaze submarine, defying reality's
explanation of acceptable and recommended behaviors.

Once upon a time...
I failed;
After trying my best,
seeing my worse case scenario win
a game of musical chairs, all other options fell
unexpectedly...recklessly...intentionally...
the revelation that my best was...the best of my
mediocrity that had become my normal expectations because
they exceeded those placed upon me...

Once upon a time...
I started over;
Deciding to take control over the only
thing I could...me...
Deciding that my decisions were
more than what others thought I should do,
believing in something much more than "I" was the best decision
anyone could prescribe--because if death is the only way to truly rise,
then a time like this may only happen once in a life...
so I'm glad I decided to live thrice times thrice.

The Takeover

It's growing inside,
I can feel it, others can't see it;
like a viral infection possessing My body,
invading my thoughts through lectures
in solitudes created in crowded rooms;
You see me but I'm not there,
I feel heat but I'm not scared,
They foresee defeat, YET...
I'm still here.

It's growing inside,
I can feel it, others may see it;
the delicious bait, draped in satin,
covering my eyes, denying My vision;
My path is taken away, no glimmer of
hope, no signs of another plotted course;
Until...there...off in a distance...there is
a whisper...I'm still here.

It's growing inside,
I can feel it, others can see it;
remembering who I was increases in
difficulty with each passing moment,
pictures and memories become vague,
incomprehensible flashes in my dreams;
It's own passion feeds on My ambitions,
My hopes, My dreams...

Soon, the takeover will be complete...
Soon this will be over--by giving in--
because that's the only way I can say,
I'm still here.

Better Left Unsaid...

The pregnant pause to "I Love You"--
The feeling of having an audience
for a lie uncovered;
A wind chill of -18 degrees and you're
without a coat or scarf...
A hurtful truth that destroys realities,
creates chaos, evokes fear or crushes
one's soul--a lack of tact.

Details of hard lessons that give years of
experience yet captures decades of life;
The clarification of an assumption that
is clearly built through an emotional response;
The answer to a question that was just
answered--telling someone he or she
was not paying attention.

Some things are better left unsaid...

From My Point of View

This is an abstract piece, expressing a certain state
of being; a humble attempt to express a particular
point of view. Interpret this as you will...

Arms resting in the clouds,
Seated above the winds;
No roar from the crowds,
Can't remember when it ended;
Suspended in my perception,
Reality has been infected;
The culprit is distortion,
Misuse of every portion.

Misfortune, contortion,
Manipulation cautions
the genuine intention,
Events are held in contempt,
Still living through the spirit of
Eternal limitless.

Please allow me to accept this--
allow me to accept that I'm unlimited.

Embracing the Darkness

Turn off all the lights, close the doors--
even the closets and restrooms;
This time, no radio, no music,
not even the humming of tune--
Allowing the volume of silence
to enter my ears, fill my thoughts
and then, I surrender to...nothing, so
that everything is clear.

Standing eventually tires;
Sitting becomes the key ingredient
for restlessness...so I choose to lay;
I lie down--not in a slumber comfort
yet a calming resistance free position
that welcomes clarity, answers, and
suggestions--waiting to be lead--
I surrender to...everything, so that
nothing is unclear.