I was so used to being misunderstood that when I finally met you I didn't understand what I was thinking; Feeling like I had waited a lifetime, I wasted a lifetime trying to make my lifeline pair with a few deadlines - flat lines...
I was so used to only hearing my own voice that when I finally heard you whisper in my ear I didn't understand how you knew the lyrics to my heart's theme music; Accusing me of opposing sincerity, my adversity was that I was severely impeded by my lack of clarity but here I see what I've been hearing throughout my lifetime, there's more to life - flat lines...
I was so used to being me; a mister.
Under stood Wonder
under My Thunder was
Light flashing
Heights grasping
Sight blindly
I
began to see
you
begin to see
Me be
Imperfect.
I was so used to being misunderstood that when I finally stood...I didn't know if I could... but I knew I would
For you
Who understood.
Monday, December 8, 2014
Sunday, August 10, 2014
Except from "Becoming More"
Running towards an open door with her eyes closed tightly, she felt the heat against her palms. Sweat racing down her face, she dared not to rub any away for the moisture may be another layer of protection. Soon, the smoke strangled her to her knees, as cheers and taunts collided in the cedar scented air. After taking one last deep breath, she lunged forward, with arms outstretched for a member of this peculiar audience.
As the air began to move through her lungs more smoothly, a smile grew upon her face. Another challenge completed. One step closer to achieving her goal of becoming a fireman.
As the air began to move through her lungs more smoothly, a smile grew upon her face. Another challenge completed. One step closer to achieving her goal of becoming a fireman.
Sunday, May 11, 2014
My Mom
Most may never know that my thoughts are initially negative with any situation. I'm attracted to the worse case scenarios when deliberating issues and oftentimes I'm stubborn to change my point of view. My temper isn't the best...in fact, I have a horrible temper--one that takes me from zero to a thousand in less than three seconds! Sure, I may not always say the right things. Some have even said that I'm rude (picture that...me? rude? Ha!). But if you know me, you know that I say what I mean and I mean what I say. So, most times, when I open my mouth, my mom comes out.
As a young man, I recognized that I was Blessed with the gift of observation. I watched the world around me and learned quickly what to do and what not to do from others. I still do this today. There are also times where I will throw caution to the wind, roll the dice, and let the chips fall where they may. I enjoy this reckless behavior...because it's all calculated. I grew up with an affinity with numbers and math. My dad always said that my mom was a wiz with numbers and that was all the encouragement I needed. But, I turned out to be an English teacher, so figure that one out. I teach with passion and I tie my experiences into the examples I give my kids to help relate the lessons to real life. Most can't believe what I've experienced, but it seems to work with my students. And when I'm in class, getting those kids ready to learn and I open my mouth, I know my mom comes out.
My sister and I are very close. Life's circumstances allowed God's plan to work wonders on us, as we have always been each other's best friends (I think...I mean she's mine so...wouldn't I be hers?). But just because we are best friends, doesn't mean we have always gotten along. There were arguments, fights, scratches on my face that left scars for weeks and kids at school teased me that I was attacked by a bear because we lived in the country (Sherif, bka Button - Chester High Class of '95 had lots of jokes), bullying, brainwashing, mind games and all the love siblings could share (Sarcasm is a gift). There were also times when we were all we had, looking out for each other, being strong for each other, loving each other and most importantly, teaching each other how to be strong. Within most of these times, when we opened our mouths, our mom would come out.
As I grew older and began to put some pieces together in my life that had been broken, either by my own accord or by the choices of others, I would think back to my mother singing in the choir. I would think of her praying and I would think of not only how she cared for me, but for some reason, I'd think about the mistakes she had admitted she made. I would look then, and I continue to look now, at how she navigated through her adversities. I look to those moments to find strength, courage and a little extra push to carry on. I look at how she grew in her Faith and how she uses her gifts to help others. And when I think on these things, I know that she is Blessed and I know that my family is Blessed to have her in our lives. So, today, when I open my mouth, it feels good to know that my mom comes out.
As a young man, I recognized that I was Blessed with the gift of observation. I watched the world around me and learned quickly what to do and what not to do from others. I still do this today. There are also times where I will throw caution to the wind, roll the dice, and let the chips fall where they may. I enjoy this reckless behavior...because it's all calculated. I grew up with an affinity with numbers and math. My dad always said that my mom was a wiz with numbers and that was all the encouragement I needed. But, I turned out to be an English teacher, so figure that one out. I teach with passion and I tie my experiences into the examples I give my kids to help relate the lessons to real life. Most can't believe what I've experienced, but it seems to work with my students. And when I'm in class, getting those kids ready to learn and I open my mouth, I know my mom comes out.
My sister and I are very close. Life's circumstances allowed God's plan to work wonders on us, as we have always been each other's best friends (I think...I mean she's mine so...wouldn't I be hers?). But just because we are best friends, doesn't mean we have always gotten along. There were arguments, fights, scratches on my face that left scars for weeks and kids at school teased me that I was attacked by a bear because we lived in the country (Sherif, bka Button - Chester High Class of '95 had lots of jokes), bullying, brainwashing, mind games and all the love siblings could share (Sarcasm is a gift). There were also times when we were all we had, looking out for each other, being strong for each other, loving each other and most importantly, teaching each other how to be strong. Within most of these times, when we opened our mouths, our mom would come out.
As I grew older and began to put some pieces together in my life that had been broken, either by my own accord or by the choices of others, I would think back to my mother singing in the choir. I would think of her praying and I would think of not only how she cared for me, but for some reason, I'd think about the mistakes she had admitted she made. I would look then, and I continue to look now, at how she navigated through her adversities. I look to those moments to find strength, courage and a little extra push to carry on. I look at how she grew in her Faith and how she uses her gifts to help others. And when I think on these things, I know that she is Blessed and I know that my family is Blessed to have her in our lives. So, today, when I open my mouth, it feels good to know that my mom comes out.
Monday, April 28, 2014
Only When You Let Go
She let him go, whispering, "I love you..." as the wind brushed her bangs over her eyes. Brown, with a pinkish tint, her eyes gazed across the horizon as he drifted away. As the distance between them increased, her heart became the bass drum that caused her lungs to severely contract. Grabbing her chest, an attempt to plead with him to turn around was met with an inability to coerce oxygen into her body. She fell slowly to her knees--her left hand digging into the sand; her right hand pressing aggressively upon her sternum and her head reluctantly fell parallel to the earth benefit her.
She let him go, whispering, "I love you..." as the wind brushed her bangs over her eyes. After a time, she rose to her feet, clinching the life she would always remember and welcoming the one on the horizon. As the distance between them decreased, her heart became the bass drum that caused her lungs to contract quickly. Grabbing her chest, an attempt to say his name was met with a rush of adrenaline, moving their bodies closer and closer. She leaped into his arms, her left arm on his shoulder and her right on his cheek, and her head purposefully moved closer to the love before her.
She let him go, whispering, "I love you..." as the wind brushed her bangs over her eyes. After a time, she rose to her feet, clinching the life she would always remember and welcoming the one on the horizon. As the distance between them decreased, her heart became the bass drum that caused her lungs to contract quickly. Grabbing her chest, an attempt to say his name was met with a rush of adrenaline, moving their bodies closer and closer. She leaped into his arms, her left arm on his shoulder and her right on his cheek, and her head purposefully moved closer to the love before her.
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Forward
When pieces like this one come out, it's like a feeling that
flows out of me. Words just build upon themselves until
it is finished...If it doesn't make sense to you, no worries,
one day it will all make sense.
Until then, keep pressing forward...
The path before me has been illuminated,
spanning miles and miles into the horizon of dreams,
the panoramic view of my pacing of the starting line;
No fog, but clouds escorted by a gentle breeze
outline the heights of my sight in all directions;
as I continue to inspect my cargo, checking fuel gauges,
and the space between where I am and where I need to be is revealed;
My purpose is clear. My vision is set...forward.
A force within me begins to build,
churning within as gears spin and time becomes an ally of hope,
Rest assures me that my preparation has not been in vain;
No fog, yet the exhilaration of victory fills my ears
blotting out any pleas for pause,
as I secure all that I hold dear, latches are fastened and knots tightened,
and the search for the end becomes an adventure of a new life;
My dream is near. My heart and mind are moving...forward.
As the beginning becomes the past,
the wind breaks across the top of my head, then presses down my face,
rude and unapologetic, creating a contrast between present and destiny;
No fog, just resistance to my persistence
and I thought my relentless intentions
would not be tested, the only one that could best this quest is
The Almighty, Heavenly Father...is this His way of telling me no?
Is this a hint or clue that what I've wanted is not what He has prepared?
Or is this a test of obedience to what He has for me?
My spirit is filling. My life is being led...forward.
flows out of me. Words just build upon themselves until
it is finished...If it doesn't make sense to you, no worries,
one day it will all make sense.
Until then, keep pressing forward...
The path before me has been illuminated,
spanning miles and miles into the horizon of dreams,
the panoramic view of my pacing of the starting line;
No fog, but clouds escorted by a gentle breeze
outline the heights of my sight in all directions;
as I continue to inspect my cargo, checking fuel gauges,
and the space between where I am and where I need to be is revealed;
My purpose is clear. My vision is set...forward.
A force within me begins to build,
churning within as gears spin and time becomes an ally of hope,
Rest assures me that my preparation has not been in vain;
No fog, yet the exhilaration of victory fills my ears
blotting out any pleas for pause,
as I secure all that I hold dear, latches are fastened and knots tightened,
and the search for the end becomes an adventure of a new life;
My dream is near. My heart and mind are moving...forward.
As the beginning becomes the past,
the wind breaks across the top of my head, then presses down my face,
rude and unapologetic, creating a contrast between present and destiny;
No fog, just resistance to my persistence
and I thought my relentless intentions
would not be tested, the only one that could best this quest is
The Almighty, Heavenly Father...is this His way of telling me no?
Is this a hint or clue that what I've wanted is not what He has prepared?
Or is this a test of obedience to what He has for me?
My spirit is filling. My life is being led...forward.
Thursday, February 27, 2014
A Pause
Having nothing after something is a curse,
profane experience so I have a hard time
wishing for you...thinking of you...
Dreaming for you to arrive like the sunset,
Make early mornings a distant future to the
Nights we would never forget.
Having nothing after something is a curse,
profane experience so I look to the time,
Clocking the ticks, seconds of eternity clicks;
Dreaming of you as your arrival rivals the horizon,
Shining so bright my heart needs a visor...
Having nothing after something is a curse,
profane experience so I wait for the time,
When wishes becomes shushes and now
My smile's a little crooked because you take me there--
Where mornings and nights confuse shades and heights,
Lights shining through darkness making waves in the ways
We have come to know reality...and all I can do is pause...
Having nothing after something is a curse,
profane experience...sealed with a kiss...
profane experience so I have a hard time
wishing for you...thinking of you...
Dreaming for you to arrive like the sunset,
Make early mornings a distant future to the
Nights we would never forget.
Having nothing after something is a curse,
profane experience so I look to the time,
Clocking the ticks, seconds of eternity clicks;
Dreaming of you as your arrival rivals the horizon,
Shining so bright my heart needs a visor...
Having nothing after something is a curse,
profane experience so I wait for the time,
When wishes becomes shushes and now
My smile's a little crooked because you take me there--
Where mornings and nights confuse shades and heights,
Lights shining through darkness making waves in the ways
We have come to know reality...and all I can do is pause...
Having nothing after something is a curse,
profane experience...sealed with a kiss...
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