The Path I'd Traveled

I traveled this far to YOU because I needed to,
Get some things off my chest as best I knew,
For the days to months I've gazed,
Away, also made it hard for me to breathe,
Tightening like barbed wire; 
Hours I've spent gently pulling and tugging for 
Air; so when I decided to travel this far because 
I needed to get some things off my chest
As best I knew, I slowly lifted
Those tightening barbed wires,
Tilting my head and bending my knees,
As I lifted these things over my head
Only to rest them upon my shoulders,
To alleviate pressure on my chest.

As I traveled to YOU I continued to gaze
Away, my breath began to shorten as my stride;
Each step gradually slower as my back 
Remained titled from the burdens on my shoulders,
I continued to hold them because it was better than the
Tightening of barbed wire;
Hours I've spent purposefully moving forward for
Air; so when I decided to travel this far because
I needed to get some things off my chest
As best I knew, I reluctantly dropped my lifted burdens;
Rolling my shoulders and bending my back,
I released the burdens I'd held so high,
Only to rest them upon the path I had traveled,
To alleviate the pressure on my chest.

As I traveled to YOU, I continued to gaze
Away, my breath flowed like the gentle breeze, I moved, 
As Best I knew... 

Contemplating Home

He asked, "do you know what you're doing there?"
Fair question, no subliminal yet it held the suggestion;
Was I moving in the right direction? Contemplate...
Sometimes you find home when you move far away.

She asked, "do you know where you're going?
Talent can only take you so far."
Among the stars is where I'm destined to dwell--Contemplate...
Sometimes you find home when you venture far away.

He asked, "what are you here for?"
Fair question, no subliminal yet it held the suggestion;
Was I stagnant, a fragment, needing to be completed?
Was I in search of a purpose that was sent to find me?
Contrary.
Have I been moving in the right direction? Contemplate...
Sometimes you find home when you feel out of place.

She asked, "why are you here? Talent can only
Take you so far."
Among the clouds is where we are; Contemplate...
Sometimes you find home when you build in your space.

Outside Looking In - Log Entry #58

Her: What are you doing?
Why are you making that face?
Him: This is my sexy face.
Her: Get a new one...

Her: How do you like the food?
Him: I appreciate the effort. You
did a great job. I do prefer grilled
over baked though.
Her: We'll see when I cook again.
Him: What did I say?

Him: I'm thinking of taking a trip
to have time to myself.
Her: Who you going with?
Him: No one.
Her: So, you expect me to believe that?
Maybe you need to take some time
to figure out if you want to be here!
Him: *speechless*

Her: I don't want you to wait for me.
Him: If I can't wait for the
Love of Life then what else is there?
Her: What if you're wrong?
Him: Love is never wrong...

Nothing New Under the Sun

Haven't spent time in this creative space
in a while...

If there's nothing new under the sun,
then inventions only recreate songs unsung,
then writers only pen ideas others forgot,
and buzzer beaters never really take the last shot.

If there's nothing new under the sun,
then why wonder when time reveals that you've only just begun,
then dreamers only recycle nightmares and fantasies,
and cross-genetic experiments aren't making anything.

If there's nothing new under the sun,
then mistakes should be less important than how it is done,
then letting go of love is a way of winning the fight,
and how you choose to live can be guided by hindsight.

A Scripted Love...

Some actors struggle to play their part...

Is it bad that...
I wanna fight for you when you leave,
I watch closely, hoping you turn around
I hold my breath and stand still;
I can't imagine this to be true,
I can't imagine living without you...
Like a scripted love...

Is it bad to question...
The reason you came my direction,
The seasons we shared in sessions,
The way you exhaled my name,
The times I did the same,
The feeling to be in your presence,
The instant mental connection,
The acceptance of life with you...
Like a scripted love...

Is it bad to hold on...
To what some would say is so wrong,
To what others would say to hold on,
To the only thing that makes you feel whole,
To the person who makes you feel when others can't;
To moments because time won't allow timeless experiences,
To boundless realities to cherish with you...
Like a scripted love...

Is it bad not to...
Live as if you aren't here,
Live and disregard what your eyes speak so clearly;
Live like I'm someone I'm not,
Live the way others may say,
Live in spite of what makes sense to most,
Live for the truth of what I hold so dear;
Live with you, yet live without you...
Like a scripted love...

Today's Reality, Case #6113

I was listening to Kendrick Lamar, a phenomenal artist, 
and my mind began to race with thoughts in a particular
rhyme scheme. The words in the first stanza arrived 
immediately. The rest, flowed as I typed. I'm not really 
sure how my mind connects dots like this...

Today I wanted to...
Be where I could come over & see,
Reality like it was scripted but gifted so you'd believe,
Your willing suspension of disbelief wouldn't be needed,
Succeeded by my brown eyes,
Turning your frown upside down...

If I could come over & see,
Reality like "YES, I KNEW THAT WE WERE MEANT TO BE!"
Shouting freely from my lungs as I plunge into your seas,
Creating secrets so when we were together we would be,
In our own little world, with vast uncharted lands,
Feeling like we had forever, the sands of time never ran...

If I could come over & see,
Reality like, "don't pinch me if I'm dreaming!"

Reality like, "I can't believe what I'm seeing!"

Reality like, "My life truly has meaning!"

Reality like it was scripted but gifted so you'd believe...

Today I wanted to...
Be with you...
Today I wanted to...
Share this with you.

Just Want to Be

Sometimes...inspiration comes without any experience 
of your own.  Other times...well...you just know...

As a man, it's that feeling...when you just want to be 
In her presence;
Seconds turning into minutes seem like weeks,
Days are an eternity of yearning for her
Sweet scent -- her cool breeze.

As a man, it's that feeling...when you just want to be
In her presence;
Kisses placed on her hands and cheek,
Appreciating all of her,
Sex isn't the prize...you're lost in her eyes.

As a man, it's that feeling...when you just want to be
In her presence;
Moments lost admiring her grace,
Dreaming of ways to say Love to her heart,
For yours pound heavily, wanting to feel hers.

As a man, it's that feeling...when you just want to be
In her presence...you know it's real then... 

State of Affairs

This is a reflection of a time in my life when
things were not so good, yet, I found pleasure
in the oddest places. I call this State of Affairs 
because it addresses my physical, emotional &
mental state as they all interacted with the people
& environment around me at the time.

I awoke in the eye of a...
Storm winds spinning things around me,
Yet, I'm floating, 
Wondering what it would be like to reach out,
And touch what I imagine are destructive currents.

I awoke in the eye of a...
Storm winds revolving around me,
Yet, I'm drawn closer,
Imagining what it would be like to bounce off the walls,
And be swept away in the waves.

I awoke in the eye of a...
Storm winds increasing speeds around me,
Yet, I'm at peace,
Enjoying what it feels like to be in the midst of chaos,
And be lost in the breeze of an alternate reality.

I awoke in the eye of a...
Storm winds subsiding all around me,
Yet, I'm gliding,
Accepting what it may feel like to touch down,
And stand at the crossroads of my destiny.

A Question Within

Have you ever touched a rainbow,

Ever counted sand,

Imagine knowing each grain

In the palm of your hand;

Have you ever kissed a sunrise,
Ever counted breaths,
Imagine reliving each exhale
In the depth of your chest;

Have you ever lived a dream,
Ever counted smiles,
Imagine feeling each second
In the wake of new love?

These Ramblings

There are a few dents, scratched and marks on my car that have been there for years. I could have repaired them by now, I'm sure, but for some reason, I haven't. It has become a "I'll do it when blah blah happens" but guess what? When those things happen, I did nothing. Sometimes, like today, I wonder if that means that I don't really care about the appearance of my car, or if there's a deeper meaning.

For example, am I postponing the repairs because of some inner struggle that won't allow me to accept perfection? Am I prolonging the inevitable for fear that once the car looks great cosmetically, it'll be time for me to park it or upgrade to some muscle pony?

While listening to Michael Jackson I realized that music inspires me, shapes my emotions and can, on any given day, make my day. I'm one of the rare people who enjoyed Prince (or the artist formally known as) just as much as M. J. How did I straddle the fence? Lots of time in the back seat while my dad drove us around. Lots of Saturdays cleaning up the house, listening to records and having sing-a-longs.

I was good at lots of things growing up: singing, gaming, sports (when I tried), writing, public speaking, math...things came easy to me. I have to thank my sister for that. She would have to learn it. All I had to do was listen to her and memorize her repetitious chants of times tables, words and definitions, etc. That's why I think she's smarter than I am.

These ramblings have been brought to you by me...Now, go do something nice for someone and cherish the day!

Ropes & Ladders: Chapter 3

Mrs. Long couldn't believe what was happening.  What is he doing?  Does he really think that this little show is going to spark my interest?  I can't believe he would put on such an act in front of my spouse...standing there with that look on his face, as if nothing else is the world matters but what's in front of him.  His confidence is attractive...but this is so inappropriate...but why am I smiling?

Simultaneously, Thomas began thinking...What are you doing?  Didn't think I'd do it...but I did...I mean I had to right?  He just can't walk in and I not acknowledge him?  That would be rude.  Or is this rude?  SHE's married to him...I...have to remember that...but I know what I want and I'm not going to let anything else get in the way of my dreams...I'll never let an opportunity slip away from me again!  So...here I am...creating an unwanted threesome.  I can't imagine any of those fools knowing what's really going on.  Jennifer's probably wondering how she can get Mrs. Long out of the way and she become the meat in this sandwich.  My arm's getting tired.  Is he not going to shake my hand?  Can he not see my effort.  I need her to see what I'm willing to do...I need him to see...that I'm fearless.  But if he doesn't...I'll make her see, then, she'll make him see me...

What is he doing?  This has to be one sick joke...  First the boldness on the phone...not this?  What's he playing at...I mean really?!  By acting like this, does he really think this will get him anywhere?  At most, it'll get him an audience with my alter ego and there won't be any letting up...but maybe that's what he wants...that's exactly what he wants...attention.  Positive or negative...it's my attention.  And he wants it.  Well...he's got it...and everyone else's too!  This handshake better be all he's hoped and dreamed because his proximity to my family is about to increase dramatically if this doesn't go well...Mr. Long thought.

"Hi, I'm Thomas...Thomas Aiken, by the way.  I apologize for my abrupt nature but like I eluded to earlier, your wife is a special woman.  I just had to come over and shake the hand of the man who takes care of her."

Reaching out his hand, Mr. Long responded, "Yes, my wife is indeed...one-of-a-kind.  I'm not sure why God chose me to be with her but I'm thankful everyday to have a partner like her."  Looking over at his wife, Mr. Long tightened his grip a little just before releasing Thomas's hand and taking the hand of his wife.  "Sweetheart, I must be going.  We have a board meeting this morning...a possible merger is in the works.  I'll see you tonight!"

While pulling her husband to her for a farewell hug, Mrs. Long exhaled as she embraced him, "Thank you so much for being you!  I'll have something special for you tonight!"

Tommy, seeing the embrace ending, quickly interjected, "It was nice meeting you Mr. Long.  I hope this will not be the last time we see you!"

"Well, this world is not that big of a place.  Sooner or later our paths may cross again."

"Yes sir.  I'm an aspiring businessman so anytime you'd like to divulge some secrets to a young man like me, don't hesitate.  Here's my card."

"You know what Tomlin..."

"Thomas sir...well, everyone calls me Tommy."

"Oh okay, Thomas...I'm sure my wife has your information.  I'll be sure to get your information from her if there's anything I'd like to share with you."  Thoughts raced through Mr. Long's mind...He has completely lost his mind!  Offering his card?!  Really?!  This is when the sexiness of confidence meets the bold, the rude and the certifiably insane!  This is definitely not the time or place for this...whatever he thinks THIS is.  Pushing up in front of my spouse...he's got some nerve!  And on date night...which was made obvious to avoid such things!

Mrs. Long was beside herself with emotion.  Oh my God!  Did he not hear us talking about our date night tonight?  Now, I'm sure we'll be talking about this mess instead of enjoying our evening.  He's good...I have to give it to him.  This game he's playing...he must be a professional...or a complete nut!

"Not a problem.  Just wanted to get in your ear.  Close mouths don't get fed right?"

Okay, got his and her attention now.  I've established my presence and my willingness to go the extra mile.  Whether she thinks I'm rude or whether he thinks I'm crazy, they're both thinking about one thing...not date night...but me...Tommy...no wait...Thomas...Thomas Aiken...the rising star...

Ropes & Ladders: Chapter 2

“Welcome back everyone!  Help yourself to the lovely breakfast provided by Mr. Aiken!” Monica announced. 

“Aye, yo, man...good looking out! “  Jonathan attempted to say as he swallowed his third doughnut. 

“Yes Tommy, you definitely gave me just what I needed.”

Did she really just say that?  Jennifer would throw it at anyone with two hands…maybe even one hand. He laughs to himself and shakes his head.   Gotta make sure I stay clear of that thirst-trap!  Now…where is Mrs…oh, there she is…game-face time!

“You're very welcome.  I decided to start the year off on a positive note.  I made a few phone calls to those I consider my inner circle and I realized that the generosity of their friendship is something I need to pay forward.”

 “Such a kind gesture, Mr. Aiken.  You’re trying to make everyone feel special this morning I see,” Mrs. Long interjected as she passed by, analyzing the table of refreshments. 

“Yes, everyone is special.  Some…more than others,” he replied, as he gestured for her attention to focus on what was in his hand.  “A warm French toast muffin--freshly baked.”

Whispers flew through the room as she accepted his act of kindness with a bright smile. 

“What happened over the break that made him bring her breakfast?”

“Or maybe he forgot to thank her when they woke up this morning.”

“Isn’t she married?”

“I don’t see a ring…”

“Is he really pushing up on her?”

“ Oh yeah…special breakfast items?  She’s on the team.”

“And on that note, let’s all have a seat so we can get started.  So, welcome back everyone,” she began, trying to overlook the obvious side conversations.  “Wasn’t it nice of Mr. Aiken to show his appreciation with this breakfast this morning?”

Poor attempts at low whispers filled the room. 

“I bet he wants to show you a little extra appreciation…”

“If he hasn’t already…”

Her tolerance for such things would soon grow thin. “Oh…I’m sorry,” Mrs. Long stated firmly, looking directly at her accusers. 

“Umm, excuse me?” asked the hecklers in an ironic unison.

“I’m sorry you’re not me.  But it’s okay.  You may continue to act unprofessionally, but you will be sad…and outside…instead of in here…happy…with a job!  Do you want to be sad?  Personally, I like being happy!”

Other than a few gasps, the room was silent.  As Mrs. Long walked over to the door to shut off the lights to begin her presentation, a big smile grew on her face.

“Oh babe!  You didn’t have to do this!!!”

A tall male, glasses and an athletic build, smiled brightly as he entered the room. 

“The jewelry store called as soon as you left this morning and said it was ready so I wanted you to have it as soon as possible.  It makes me feel like we’re connected even more when I know you’re wearing it!”

“If she’s on his team, she must’ve just quit ‘cause the way she’s kissing him…ain’t nobody in between that but him!”  Monica jabbed at Jonathan.

“You’re so sweet!  I’ll see you later on this evening!  Date night, right?”

“Definitely!  Got something nice in store too,” Mr. Long added, then turned to everyone else in the room.  “I apologize for interrupting your session.  You guys have a good one!”

Tommy stood to his feet.  Without thinking, he walked over to Mr. Long and extended his hand.  “It’s no problem.  We appreciate your wife so much.  It’s nice to see that she’s loved once she leaves us.”

“Did he just say we loved her?”

“No, I think he insinuated that he loved her?”

“French toast muffin can’t compete with a wedding ring though…”

“Look at her face!”

The whispers continued as Mrs. Long’s face became the dictionary definition of baffled.  She stood in the middle of the two men…the out-stretched arm of a potentially rising star…and…her husband who, up until now, has been the center of her universe. 

Ropes & Ladders: Chapter 1

"Happy New Year!!!  I pray special blessings are bestowed upon you and your family this year.  I really appreciate all you've done to help these past few months!"

"Oh wow!  So unexpected...HAPPY NEW YEAR MR. AIKEN!  That was very nice of you :-)  Same to you and yours..." 

She smiled for a while after sending her reply.  Smiley faces in your first text message? Wonder what made him write me in the first place?

"I hope my text didn't get you trouble.  It's not my intention to disrespect your marriage.  I only wanted to send well wishes to people who come to mind today...and you were definitely on my short list."

"Trouble?  No, definitely not an issue here & yes, I am a married woman.  Glad you remembered that!"

"Oh, it's kinda hard to forget when you're hand lights up the room!"

"Ha ha Mr. Aiken.  Ring or not, I think you'd be respectful and gentlemen-like anyway."

He smiled for a while after reading her reply.  She is beautiful...but married...I can't push up on her...he's a lucky guy...stay focused!  Just end the conversations quickly and all will be well.  

"Gotta respect the ladies...ya know!  But I think you wouldn't have a problem checking anyone who stepped out of line.  I see how you cut your eyes at people in the meetings Lol."

Really?  So he's looking that hard?  I need to cut this short...he is easy on the eyes though.

"What do you mean?  I don't do that...that would be unprofessional!"

"LOL.  Yes it would, and you walk the line.  But I think it's good though.  It shows you have passion ;-)"

"Passion?  Is he trying to run game?!  Why am I smiling?  

"Well, I care about my work.  That smiley face...are you flirting with me Mr. Aiken?  What would my husband think if he saw another man winkin through texts?"

Shoot...her husband gotta know she bad!  She's cool people though...just keep it clean and you'll be fine.

"He has to be used to guys hitting on you...not sayin I was...I'm just sayin...you're easy on the eyes and you have sense...that's always appetizing!  No disrespect."

"LOL @ "appetizing".  I'm not following you up!  But thank you for the compliment.  I didn't think you were flirting...just wanted to mess with you.  Gotta go see about my babies #mommyduty"

"You're very welcome!  Well, I guess I'll see you at work next week."

"Yes.  I'll be conducting the morning training sessions.  I expect you to be there bright and early!  And if you bring breakfast for yourself and forget me, we're gonna have words! :-)  Enjoy the rest of your vacation!"

"I gotchu!  No worries!  You're gonna have the other ladies jealous about your coffee and muffin LOL.  'How Mrs. Long get him to bring her a muffin?! LOL."

"LOL.  They won't say anything.  They know better!  #justkiddin  Ok, Mr. Aiken.  This was nice.  See you next week!"

"Aight...see you then!"

Duality of Realities

Pages of, descriptive depictions - Because, relentless intent, 
I'm just, sensitive and thinking that, this was meant for a reason,
Must be the season of change and exploration,
This thing that we're making is filled with complications
Yet our destination isn't why we choose this movement;
Slow motion like ocean waves, eroding shores then penetrate
An exciting cycle not to duplicated or repeated,
But with each time we meet, another chapter's reenacted 
By this fascination we share - uncharted territory - we dare...
This fascination we share...we dare...

Pages of, descriptive depictions - Above, patience like incense
We turn with a glow, wonder if there's anyone who knows,
This is meant for a reason, 
Must be the season of change and exhales,
Hearts racing, dreams chasing this things that we're making,
It's filled with complications, yet the current state of matters
Is the only that happens...
Escaping in each others arms becomes the reality 
We wish we could awake,
An exciting cycle replicated in different settings, 
Another chapter's reenacted
By this fascination we share - uncharted territory, 
Yet we're still here...
This fascination we share...we dare...

Pages of, descriptive depictions - Maybe L**e, 
This fascination we share,
Since reality can't compare, our duality becomes the clarity,
We're sensitive to the melody of our lives 
Choosing passion over everything,
This symbolizes more than what everyone is seeing,
It's this thing that we're making, we're filled with complications
Yet our motivation is just being - together, through as many seasons
Of change and exploration, patient waves and penetration,
Because with each time we meet, we dare...
This fascination we share...we dare...

When I Want You

Who wants war, when mornings are made with your smile, lunch with your walk, dinner with your being. I'm seeing life from this perspective, even when it gets hectic, your pressence is a weapon that takes away the stresses.

Who wants peace, when evenings are spent with your voice, prime time with our shows, late night with your toes. I'm living life different, even when its routine, your body on my body, we paint the perfect scene.

Who wants you, when all I do is think about the ways we can live out our days in amazing relations, with spacious engagements, and favorites of favors that never waver. 

Who wants more, when I could have you...

Meeting the Needs of a Truth #20

I’m not sure who wants it more.  I know it’s mine because it responds to me as if I’m in control.  This feeling of conquest, coupled with the anticipation of the return of someone I knew long ago in an another life…I feel energized.  I feel…full of life.  I feel…tensing in my back.  Not anxiety; more so a beckoning for release, as if shackles ripped the skin from dessert dusted ankles as a stumbling walk increases into a scramble for a much needed oasis.  But there are no mirages here…just time, space and opportunity to journey to one man’s land, prepared to allow another to conquer…to rule…to meet the needs of a truth that has been starving for a dose of an alternate reality. 

I'm not sure who wants it more.  I know it’s his because it responds to him as if he is in control.  This feeling of release, coupled with the anticipation of the perfect one to accept my invitation…I feel energized.  I feel…full of life.  I feel…tensing in my thighs.  Not anxiety, more so a yearning for release, as if I’ve been held captive in a dessert, shackled by my ankles when he, my oasis appeared and I find myself stumbling towards him with all my might.  And this is no mirage…just time, space and so much opportunity to explore this new world, to be conquered; then join the conqueror …to rule alongside him, as he meets the needs of the truth that I’ve been starving for…a dose of an alternate reality.