The Purgatory of Decision-Making

Being calm in chaotic situations
Challenges your concentration
To maintain a heightened level
Of patience for an unknown
Amount of time. As you observe
The world around you, take
Plenty of notes. Allow yourself
To feel the rhythm of destruction;
See the entrance of irony and the
Departure of Fear; Hear the
Harmony of a world that’s
Tumbling down, just to be built
Up again; Embrace the
Lost and Found--the purgatory
Of Decision-Making. This is
The opportunity to choose your
Own adventure, without the
Option of looking ahead to see
If your choice is the one you
Want to keep. The stakes may be
High, causing years of recovery,
If you do not choose wisely...
This is the dilemma and thrill
Of a Game Changer—a choice in time
Where Destiny is in the eye of the
Beholder; Where Fate is in the Hands
Of the Novice, wishing to earn battle scars;
The proof of maturity; the evidence of
Faith in oneself, in the chosen path
Where leaders are created.

A Bad Thing? Not Really

My dad is a pretty complex man;
that doesn't mean that I don't
understand him. It just means that
to understand him you have to do
a little more work than just listening...
I imagine I inherited this characteristic
honestly and it's taken years for me
to accept the fact that only a few people
in my entire life will ever "get me." One
day, my dad revealed an observation of
my character that I didn't understand at
first, but with time, it became resoundingly
clear and supported by the Word of God.

"Son, you have a big heart...and that’s not a
bad thing…but one day, it's gonna get you
in trouble. You won't understand why
because you will in the midst of the storm,
and once the dust settles, you will see that you
won't be able to do anything about the mess
around you." Of course I was concerned
about this revelation that was given to me,
but more importantly, I wondered how was
having a big heart ever considered “a bad
thing?” My dad reminded me of Joseph
and his brothers. In Genesis, Chapter 37,
Joseph was envied by his brothers because
Joseph was the “favorite son” of their dad.
Joseph didn’t see his favor and loved his
brothers still, so much that he wanted to
share his dreams with them. When he did,
they hated him even more.

The lessons of this story can be unpacked into
several life lessons, but I’m going to focus on
one. You can’t please everyone. Like my dad
told me, having a big heart isn’t bad, but trying
to please everyone is impossible. Despite my
best efforts, I couldn’t please everyone
and the person who was hurt the most
was me. I couldn’t figure out why my efforts
weren’t accepted or understood. Finally, I
realized that it wasn’t for me to try to please
anyone but God. Also, I needed to focus on what
was best for me, not with selfish or evil intent,
but for the welfare of my future. Sooner or later,
decisions that are made will hurt those you love
(missing you when you go away to school, you
choose a career you love vs. the one they think
you should have, etc). The trick is to accept it
and pray that those you love, love you the same
and will support you.