It's Your Choice

Each day I wake up, I have a routine that I like to follow. This routine prepares me for the day and helps me to get into a positive state of mind. I read a devotional that is sent to me via email and it always has a Bible verse at the end. Then, I read the entire chapter in the Bible where the verse came from. One thing my parents taught me was to read what happens before and after a verse you come in contact. Verses can be interpreted in different ways so it’s important to see the context it was originally written. This isn’t to say that any interpretation is right or wrong. For me, it gives me clarity and a better understanding of how to apply it to my life. Lastly, I like to read some positive quotes that I get via email as well.

Once I’ve meditated on these words from others, I create my own words of wisdom, inspiration or motivation to share with the world. I share my words in hopes to help others have better days. I experience tough times just like anyone else, more than what I’d like admit. It’s always good to have a cheering section to encourage you and push you forward. For those who don’t, I hope that my words can find their way into those who need it. These are just some of the things I do to spread love in a world where negativity is promoted more than anything else. What do you do to stay positive or to be a positive light for those around you?

Being positive isn’t always easy, but making the choice should be.

Life Lesson: Shell Shocked

For those who grew up spending a lot of time with your grandparents, you know that from time to time, they drop some serious knowledge on you, when you least expect it. My grandfather, on my dad’s side, had a knack of making profound statements that hit me later in life. Once, when I was 7 years old, he asked me to help him with the “kooda” (that’s a large turtle or tortoise for those who don’t know). Now, we grew up with all types of farm animals: chickens, deer, pigs, cows, rabbits, fish, etc. so this wasn’t anything new to me.

Well, I was very excited and jumped at the chance to help out. I followed my grandfather to his pickup truck and helped him get a bucket off the back. Inside was the “kooda” and it was still alive. We walked over to a large chopping block. My grandfather took the “kooda” out of the bucket and sat it on this large piece of wood.

He told me, “When I tell you, hold that stick out with both hands in front of the shell. He’s gonnabe quick so don’t jump. His head is gonna jump out and he’s gonna snap down on the stick. When he does, just hold it steady and pull back slowly.”

As I found a stick for the task, I noticed that my grandfather had a screwdriver in his hand but I didn’t put two and two together. When it was time, I held the stick out in front of me and a few seconds later…SNAP! The turtle head sprung from its shell and grabbed the stick.

I was so happy and excited I was almost screaming to the top of my lungs, “Granddaddy! I got’em! I got’em!”

“Pull back just a lil’bit…a lil’bit more…” my grandfather told me as he walked to me slowly.

THUNK! The sound of metal going through wood echoed in my ears. When I looked down, I was shocked to see the screwdriver pierced through the neck of the turtle, down into the chopping block where it was sitting.

My grandfather, baffled by the shock in my face asked, “What did you think we were doing? Playing with him? We don’t play with our food.”

I let go of the stick and watched as my grandfather chopped the head off of the “kooda.” My memory fads after this but I’m sure he removed the turtle from its shell and took it into the house for my grandmother to prepare for dinner. Although this experience was shocking, it taught me some valuable lessons. Over the years, I have grown to appreciate and apply these lessons to my life.

Looking back, I can see three ways this story can be applied to everyday life.

1. Know what you’re getting yourself into. Just because you want to spend time with someone or you really want to participate in an activity, be sure you know what it all entails. Too many times in life we let our emotions hinder intellectual judgment, or at the very least, skew our perceptions of reality.

2. Don’t play with your food. When you’re an adult, you have to look out for the essentials in life: food, shelter and clothing. Playing with your food means jeopardizing one of those things. Also, sometimes necessary actions must be taken in order for you and your family to eat. You may not want to do certain jobs or sacrifice certain things but at the end of the day, food, shelter and clothing are most important.

3. Everything has its purpose. We should be thankful for the food we eat, for the people in our lives and the abilities that we acquire. A universal respect for all living things, for all experiences is necessary to live a balanced life.

WorthyWords: Appreciate your Life, your Gifts, your Abilities & Talents. It's a slap in the face of those who have less than you.

The Purgatory of Decision-Making

Being calm in chaotic situations
Challenges your concentration
To maintain a heightened level
Of patience for an unknown
Amount of time. As you observe
The world around you, take
Plenty of notes. Allow yourself
To feel the rhythm of destruction;
See the entrance of irony and the
Departure of Fear; Hear the
Harmony of a world that’s
Tumbling down, just to be built
Up again; Embrace the
Lost and Found--the purgatory
Of Decision-Making. This is
The opportunity to choose your
Own adventure, without the
Option of looking ahead to see
If your choice is the one you
Want to keep. The stakes may be
High, causing years of recovery,
If you do not choose wisely...
This is the dilemma and thrill
Of a Game Changer—a choice in time
Where Destiny is in the eye of the
Beholder; Where Fate is in the Hands
Of the Novice, wishing to earn battle scars;
The proof of maturity; the evidence of
Faith in oneself, in the chosen path
Where leaders are created.

A Bad Thing? Not Really

My dad is a pretty complex man;
that doesn't mean that I don't
understand him. It just means that
to understand him you have to do
a little more work than just listening...
I imagine I inherited this characteristic
honestly and it's taken years for me
to accept the fact that only a few people
in my entire life will ever "get me." One
day, my dad revealed an observation of
my character that I didn't understand at
first, but with time, it became resoundingly
clear and supported by the Word of God.

"Son, you have a big heart...and that’s not a
bad thing…but one day, it's gonna get you
in trouble. You won't understand why
because you will in the midst of the storm,
and once the dust settles, you will see that you
won't be able to do anything about the mess
around you." Of course I was concerned
about this revelation that was given to me,
but more importantly, I wondered how was
having a big heart ever considered “a bad
thing?” My dad reminded me of Joseph
and his brothers. In Genesis, Chapter 37,
Joseph was envied by his brothers because
Joseph was the “favorite son” of their dad.
Joseph didn’t see his favor and loved his
brothers still, so much that he wanted to
share his dreams with them. When he did,
they hated him even more.

The lessons of this story can be unpacked into
several life lessons, but I’m going to focus on
one. You can’t please everyone. Like my dad
told me, having a big heart isn’t bad, but trying
to please everyone is impossible. Despite my
best efforts, I couldn’t please everyone
and the person who was hurt the most
was me. I couldn’t figure out why my efforts
weren’t accepted or understood. Finally, I
realized that it wasn’t for me to try to please
anyone but God. Also, I needed to focus on what
was best for me, not with selfish or evil intent,
but for the welfare of my future. Sooner or later,
decisions that are made will hurt those you love
(missing you when you go away to school, you
choose a career you love vs. the one they think
you should have, etc). The trick is to accept it
and pray that those you love, love you the same
and will support you.

Staying Positive

Some say the brighter side of life

Ain't worth seeing, so when you

See me smiling, know I did not

believe'em; You see, I always chose

The roads with less pavement, the

Paths with more gravel; Grass and

Dirt ensured the way would be much

Narrow.

My focus on heights, sparrows

Weren't the only catch of my eye;

There are eagles who taught their

young the foundations of flights;

I...without sight, chose wisdom as

my guiding light; focused on its

Lighthouse, doused in pain, passion

And pressure, to weather any "whatever"

The present may bring; realizing the

Future ain't meant to be seen.

Still I dream...still I desire...for more;

My life demands soreness, the

Results of relentless determination;

Driven through frustration, my talent is

Nothing if I...only dream...if I only

Desire...for more...the world needs what

I have...in...store...I...just need...to walk

Through the door.

If Not For Adversity...

When I was young and began to speak
in full sentences, it was clear
my mind functioned on a heightened
level of consciousness. So many
thoughts, ideas, and concepts were
developing and maturing at an
extremely high rate...faster
than my brain could control my muscles
to speak...and so...without notice, in the
excitement of having fully formed
thoughts to express and contribute
to any conversation, I began to stutter.
My family and I worked diligently to
improve my speech impediment.
And now, I'm an educator...having logged
countless hours of public speaking in
undergraduate and graduate classes
and extra curricular activities.

By the time I was 6 years old, my
parents divorced; our family as I knew
it was over. Maybe it was my youth
that enabled me to create certain
realities or distortions of reality over
the years, but as the curtain rose, the
smoke cleared, and the dust settled,
my days and nights over the years
blended together as a dark blur of
time that I have difficulty, as an adult,
to remember vaguely. Ironically, when
giving advice or looking for words to
inspire students, friends, family or loved
ones, I feel a fire of passion that I'm
sure burns from the same place that
helped me through those blurred years.

Upon reflection as an adult, it is safe to
conclude that the dynamics of every
relationship I have ever attempted
have been directly affected by
those years of blurred thoughts and
experiences. To explain this to
a young lady I haven't known for an
extended time was inconceivable, thus
creating a cycle of heartache,
headache and sleep deprivation. As
a man approaching his mid 30's, I
have achieved and received clarity
on many issues that have plagued,
construed and Blessed my life, yet,
I'm wise enough to know that I still
have much to learn.

I consistently make conscious
efforts to maintain and increase a
positive mind frame and a vibrant
beat of hope in my heart. I do this
because this is how I want to live,
so this is how I choose to live. I accept
Adversity as an ally, not an
Adversary. If not for adversity,
how would we learn,
grow and become better?

Believe in Yourself, No Matter What

Everyday presents opportunities that may never
occur again. I'm sure you have heard this before, in a
variety of ways--clever sayings, quotes by the famous,
infamous, and the intellectual. Interestingly enough,
decades have passed in my life and this same idea, this
statement, this knowledge is still being repeated. To my
understanding, the reason why things are repeated,
re-worded or reiterated is because some still haven't
grasped the concept. There must have been a failure in
communication, the first, third or three-hundredth time
it was expressed. Whether it was the fault of the presenter
or if it fell on deaf ears, the point is still clear:

In order to be successful, we must be ready.

How do we get ready?

Direction, Preparation and Faith.

Once we have direction, we must prepare. Another blog
will touch on these two, but I want to talk about having
Faith. According to the Bible, Faith is the hope of things
that are yet to be seen (pardon the paraphrase).

Whatever your religion, we should definitely have
Faith in ourselves. This isn't to say that we throw our
belief system out of the window and put all of our trust
in our own talents, thoughts and abilities. What this
means is that we combine our spiritual Faith with a
Faith in our talents, thoughts, abilities and hope of
what we want to achieve or acquire.

This can be applied to careers, family life or personal
life. I'm sure you have seen, known, or
heard of those who have amazing talents. Some
you may have envied, "Oh, man if I could sing like that;
if I could remember things like her; if I could speak in
front of people like that," etc. Yet, some who have
these abilities or talents, in your opinion, seem to
squander them (it may even piss you off a little). Now,
I'm not saying this is a fact for most, but the reason
for the squandering may very well be their lack of
Faith in themselves has left them with
this potential seemingly unfulfilled. I would also like
to add that everyone's passions are different and
just because we have a talent or ability doesn't mean
we have a passion to pursue it to higher levels--hence
the phrase potential seemingly unfulfilled.

Sure, setbacks happen. Sure, some may plot against
us. Sure, adversity can come within a split second...
and continue, seemingly forever. But I have seen
unlikely success stories, those who remained
steadfast in their position, determined to
overcome whatever lay in their path.

My cousin, John, told me,

"determination will beat talent any day."

Just imagine if you were a determined,
talented individual...

In closing I would like express, with all of my being,
one last thing:

Believe in yourself, no matter what!
Who are you to stand in the way of greatness?!