A Simple Hello

“Hello?”

“Good evening.  We have Caller ID…why do you answer as if you don’t know who it is that’s calling or that you’re surprised to hear from me?”

“And how are you? Long day?”

“No, not really.  I’d appreciate if you’d answer my questions.  Answering a question with a question isn’t answering.”

“The pot calling the kettle black I see.”

“It shouldn’t be this difficult,” he sighs.  “It’s like pulling teeth.”

“I’m merely joking.  I can let you go if you need…” she offers.

“What I need is for you to answer the questions I asked,” he insists.

“And what questions would those be?” she asks.

“Never mind…I’m gonna go.”

“Alrighty.  I hope you feel better,” she sings.

As he hears her about to end the call, he yells, “YOU DO THIS ON PURPOSE!  WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF SO-CALLED PLAYING AROUND WHEN NO ONE KNOWS YOU’RE NOT BEING SERIOUS BUT YOU?!”

“I don’t respond to people who yell at me,” she replies calmly.

“Of course you don’t.  You also don’t respond to me calmly asking you simple questions that could be easily answered.”

“Your questions are simple to you, not me.”

“To explain how you answer the phone when I call isn’t simple?”

“Not to me, that’s just how I answer the phone,” she attempts.

“It is not.  I’ve been around you long enough to know you’re surprised voice.  When I’m around you…you don’t answer the phone like that unless you’re not expecting the call but I can tell you I’m calling in five minutes and when I do, you’re surprised voice is on.  If you like answering like that, you could have saved us this extended conversation and said, ‘u know, I just do that for fun’ but no…you chose not to answer and now I’m hearing myself once again sounding like fool because I’m trying to get you to answer simple questions.  Why?  Because I want to know everything about you.  Picture that.  A man wanting to know everything about the woman he loves.”

“You’re so dramatic.  This has been blown out of proportion.  I don’t know why I answer the phone like that, I just do.  I feel like you just wanted to pick a fight with me and then you try to turn me into the bad guy when I didn’t comply.  I didn’t see the reason why you needed to know.  I apologize for not being able to read your mind.”

“Damn woman!  Can you be any more cold?”

“Yeah…that’s me.  The cold heartless bitch.”

“I’m not sure what’s going on with you.  Maybe I’m wrong for wanting to know.  I was curious.  I thought you’d tell me something cool that I’d enjoy learning but I see you’re just not into opening up when you don’t see the purpose.  What did I do to deserve such a brick wall?”

“You yell and curse and now you’re the victim?  Great.”

“I can’t do this…” he trails off.

“So you’re done?”

“For now…can’t keep punching a brick wall.  I don’t have enough spare knuckles for that.”

“I don’t know what you want from me, Albert.”

“At the moment, Shelly, I don’t know either.  I’ll talk to you later.”