Radical Change, Installment #1

I can imagine that before you decide to become
a villain or superhero, thoughts like the
ones below must occur in your mind before
embarking on such a perilous journey. The
terms villain and superhero are used loosely...

I am ready to leave. Never before in my life
have I been so committed to one idea...the
idea of leaving; going, moving, beginning,
ending, improving, growing, changing...radically.

I am ready to leave. There has to be a reason
why I feel so out of place, so unevenly yoked
with the world around me, so at odds with my
own world of wondrous vision, so stagnated by
my immobility; and the only answer that my
heart and mind can or will agree upon is the
aforementioned five word sentence that began
this revelation.

I am ready to leave. When I exit a conversation
or the presence of others, there is not a single
inclination to say, "good-bye"...
To me, its implication is I do not plan on
seeing or talking to you again. Yet, lately, I have
begun fighting the urge to finalize conversations,
interactions, unedited works, projects, or other
tasks just so I can remove myself from what I
know as my world with a clear conscious. I want to feel
that all is well with my affairs, so that the radical change I
feel I desperately need is unconditionally welcomed
by every part of my being.

I am ready to leave. Never before, in my life,
have I been so committed to one idea; never before
has anything been so clear...

My life, as I know it, is over...
and a radical change must begin.

I am ready...